Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

willow7 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 7

I've been wondering why should we hide them?
It might be illegal to come right out and name them, but could hint at profession, location and personal things about them?
I feel sometimes like I'm protecting a felon or molester.
Any one have ideas on this or moderators have ideas about this?
-Willow

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2620

Hey Willow.... Welcome back Girl...

Hey at the end of the day whats the point???..... I think your time is better spent learning and working on you my friend......

NC I say... forget him and think about nothing but yourself for now..... cause you are an awesome person and he was nothing.

Its so nice to see your name again Willow.......

hugs
Lukky
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 313 Location: USA

I may be interpreting the original post incorrectly, but if Willow is referring to identifying a sociopath or psychopath, it can be very empowering to "out" the offender because secrecy is a form of power they hold over their victims.

Since these predators act with a criminal mind, it may help protect another person if their identity is known.

I found a great deal of comfort in exposing my abuser. It took some of his power away....these people see you as something they have to destroy so your only defense against them in protecting youself and your children sometimes is to take off the mask they wear.

Cookie1 · Guest

Interesting momoftwo.....Want to tell us how you 'outed' the p Question

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 313 Location: USA

It has been an ongoing process, actually. As many others, I Depersonalized while he and I were together but as I started coming out of the fog and realizing that he had been subtly destroying my credibility with family and friends, I began dropping comments of my own, very nonchalantly.

After I had him removed from my home under a PFA (after he attacked me while I held our 2 1/2 mo old infant in my arms), he went on a campaign to make me out to be some crazy, pathetic, lost, psycho female (as so many of them do)....his family began to harrass me based on his version of events so I started mailing his family members copies of the PFA that had the details of the assaults on them. When he denied paternity of his two children in court, I got copies of the transcripts and mailed those to his family and friends.....

It has taken three years, but I slowly exposed him to his family and friends and they now see him for what he is. I continue to have trouble with the court systems and CYS over sexual abuse disclosures my two little girls have made about him....he is very charming and manipulative and when you combine that with people working in a system basing decisions on their own biases and prejudices, women like me who are trying to protect their kids, run up against a brick wall. But, this too shall pass...he will be shown for what he is...I just keep documenting everything that happens..he will take enough rope to hang himself eventually.

I felt so imprisoned emotionally because he was able to twist things in such a sick manner, but having tangible proof of his actions for others to see made me feel less imprisoned, less trapped and gave me some power over my life.

A million times I've wished I never met him because I really could have done without knowing his sickness....but, I try to help others with what I have learned.

Cookie1 · Guest

I too went thru the smear campaign Embarassed

xp was totally sucessfull with it...mines different tho because everyone he said the lies to are in total dennial of the lies he's told them....2 30ish kids of ours believed him even tho they KNEW what the truth was...My dad and 2 sisters believed him...lived with me all their lives and yet bought it so fast my head went spinning! His relatives...well theres just no accounting for evil is there? They hid one of their sons from the law so he wouldnt have to support his own kids......hid him up till he died...then had the nerve to call his x wife because those same kids he refused to support and they hid were his only next of kin and nothing could be done with the guys body until his next of kin signed papers...WHAT NERVE! But his family has got it Twisted Evil

....anything I would send to them as proof of what he really is would be thrown out b4 they read it.....

Fwsoon · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 4

the answer is no
soon

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 313 Location: USA

Mine was so subtle with things....for example, I never had any help or a break with our kids and when I would tell him that I needed a break for myself or that I wanted to spend time with just him, he would then go to his family and tell them that I "complained" about taking care of my kids...they naturally felt sorry for him that I was such a bad mother.....

There were other things too....he would call me a name under his breath around family which would obviously upset me and I would react...it gave him the opportunity to "show" how irrational I was because would say he had no idea what I was talking about....

I could go on and on....sending his family copies of the court transcript when he denied the kids really gave me an edge....his family was very upset with him because he puts on the act of loving, doting father....and then goes into court and denies them....uses his own kids like that..it was very telling...

Now, he has another poor unsuspecting female in his life..she is a really good girl...just like me.....he goes to church now too but denies everything that he did, still lies and plays games, and then will tell me that he "prays for me"..I could just vomit....

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2620

Mine has done a huge Smear Campaign!!!..... I dont react anymore because it takes up too much of my energy that could be spent working on getting back my self esteem and confidence....

At the end of the day they eventually trip themselves up with their lies and deceit and all of a sudden people recognise them for who they are.....
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

Cookie1 · Guest

Been 5(FIVE) Laughing

years for me Lukky.....I'm still dead to them all Laughing

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2620

Cookie you are one of my biggest inspirations.....a true survivor in terrible circumstances...... that Ex of yours might not have bween caught out yet but wait till he fronts up at the pearly gates!! Dont think they will be opening girlfriend....
_________________
'The Best reaction is no reaction'

Cookie1 · Guest

I'd LOVE to be there to see it Lukky Exclamation

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2620

Ohhhhh We'll all be there Cookie... with our Banners..!!! Kind like they do over there when an Execution is taking place... (seen it on TV ) we dont have the Death Penalty here (unfortunately)..... But We'll be like those people that stand outside with encouraging banners.......

"DONT LET HIM IN,,, DONT LET HIM HIM!!"
_________________
'The Best reaction is no reaction'

Cookie1 · Guest

femfree · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 654

Willow -in the first place you are not qualified to diagnose Psychopathy/AsPD in your partner. None of us are. So, we won't turn our forum into a 'lemon-aid for bad boys' by allowing you to post up names here.
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Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer;
nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
Fyodor Dostoevsky