Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

catlover · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

I have just heard that my x n/p 's partner has been admitted to a mental hospital!
Finally I have the confirmation that I needed.... that he has not changed at all... that he still plays power-games in his "relationships".... that they are not living in paradise....

He dumped her"again" and she just couldn't take it....that was last week,by now they are probably together again! I can't really feel sorry for her....she slept with him knowing we were"together" but it made me realise just how right I was to get away from him and stay away from him..or it could be me in that hospital bed now. He still sends me love letters on occasions,but I just think what a monster to do that behind her back.
I guess this is what I needed to end my obssession with him....time to move on.
Am writing this for all those who are stuck in jealousy of "ow"
Love

Echo · Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 12:24 pm Post subject:

Hi Catlover, Wow - thats terrible. He really must be monstrous. Im really glad for you that you have seen the light and gotten out of the trap, and away from him - and very sad for OW - that she is another victim of his in such an awful way. What a mindmesser he must be.

Ignore and bin those love letters - this man doesnt know the meaning of the word.

Thanks for your message. I hear you! OW ended up coming to my wedding to my nonP husband. We both found out what a monster "ours" was, and became friends of sorts. I just thought, no matter what she did was selfish, she was just trying to get happiness from xP - like getting blood from a stone!

Echo.

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1404

Hi Cat

Its a wonderfull feeling isnt it? Had it happen to me as well....Had what I went thre with xph validated too...She was young and he was cheating with her when I left....moved her in soon after I left....About a year after I left I decided on a whim to check police reports at his address and low and behold....she had locked herself in a room(what a familiar thing that was Embarassed

) and called the cops....the report said the cops could hear the male(which would be my x) banging on the door and screaming(YEP...that would be him alright Laughing

) and that the man did NOT know the cops were enroute.....when they got there the report says they looked for weapons(when I moved out with a police escort my girlfriend told the cops that my x is mentally ill and has guns) but didnt see any....said the male said the fight was because he wanted her to stay there with him and she wanted to leave(imagine that Laughing

) So the cops just told her to go.2 days later she called the cops again and got another police escort to get her things out(smart girl Laughing

) The 1st time 2 separate cop cars were sent...4 cops total....the 2nd time 4 cop cars.....6 cops sent.....and NOT ONE NEIGHBOR thought ANYTHING OF IT! You talk about BLINDERS......But I had a permanent smile on my face for a long long time...not because what happened to me had happened to another Embarassed

but because what happened to me was validated when it happened to another.....His always telling me IT WAS MY FAULT....2 out of 3 of our kids telling me the same....my own dad telling me the same....I knew it was NEVER me Laughing

Oh ya...FELT SOOOOO GOOD Laughing

_________________
I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

SourGirl · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Posts: 18

Hello Cat,
A leaopard never changes his spots. Sorry to hear she had to take a little vacation but... she stepped in when he wasn't finished with the one he was with. Shame on her. I have seen this so many times over the years. She should have seen it coming and hopefully next time she will have learned. Meanwhile, you sat back and waited for the ticking time bomb to expire and you knew it was only a matter of time. So Sad; So Bad. Validation is a sweet reward to the pain they caused you in a sinister kind of way. You sound like a very nice person and are naturally concerned for her well being but you're probably right... they are back together as we speak. I'd have a hard time not reading the letters, too. But like so many here have warned me they need to be discarded before opening. I think the hardest thing for me in NC with mine is I am still addicted to the drama. Reading his letters only validates that, too. Take Care and prayers for her safety but that is all up to her now.

ttfn

Mercedes · Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 38

One thing I have never been able to figure out is the OW in my story. I met my P as he was an employee of this OW and I got ensnared in a 10 month affair with him as a result of being her client. I was jolted into reality when confronted by her in an uncontrollable rage at his house. I found out then that she had been having a 5 year affair with him including the whole time I was with him. She promised after that, that it was over ( so did he) and I talked to her on many occaisions to compare notes. Sure enough he had done all the same things to her as he did to me, the only difference was that he conned a lot more money out of me. Although I was assured it was all over between them my gut told me something else and within weeks I found out it was all lies. I had a meeting with both of them where he declared he wanted to marry me but still have her and she offered to share him with me.!! That was the day the NC started as I realised I was dealing with some kind of insanity.
It's one year on now and the OW is still seeing the P but totally denying it to her husband and everyone else. She doesn't seem to think she has done anything wrong and blames her husband for her being lonely. I know she has no friends but many enemies and she is a very menacing, spiteful, cold person. I believe now that she knew about the plan to con me from the beginning and profit from it.
To me they are a couple of sick parasites that lie and betray others and each other. I would like your opinions - do you think she is a 'victim' or a P?
Mercedes

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

jealousy of OM, no I wish I could thank him for taking her off my hands. If this guy wasn't such a loser, I would. No we should never be jealousy of the ow or om, these people are the real losers in this game of NPD. I do feel sorry for them but guess I am still healing and see no need to warn him. Like me let him find out on his own. It may take a couple years, but that check in coming...

Sag

stillbreathing · Joined: 30 Mar 2007 Posts: 286

catlover · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

Thanks everyone.... it means a alot to me.

Still breathing.... I dId just that last sept. N/P was stupid enough to send me an E mailed love letter. I decided that by keeping it quiet I was contributing to his abuse of OW so I forwarded it to her. She was furious .....WITH ME! Said I "asked for it" and was playing obssessive games by changing my phone number....blocking etc!!! Guess she can't get angry with him..... so she sent it all my way!!

Love

catlover · Joined: 21 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

I know he only comes sniffing around me when he is short of NS .....how insulting is that....I will not be used in that way.

Love

nolongertrusting · Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 276

Oh, Catlover, aren't you glad it isn't you? You're out of there, no, they don't change. I think I would send those letters back to him. By that time, they'll both go over the edge.

Congrats on taking care of yourself.

Nolongertrusting

stillbreathing · Joined: 30 Mar 2007 Posts: 286

Kathryann · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 72

You give me hope that someday I will hear that my ex-husband-P is not doing well with his new woman. I know the first time he left and went with a woman which was 8 days after he left me, that didn't work out, this time he's been with another woman since Xmas last year and I haven't heard a thing about it. I think it would reassure me that she doesn't have it any better than I did. I would love to hear that the OW is sick of him too.