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Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group
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femfree
Site Admin
Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 655
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 Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 2:50 pm Post subject: ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH A NARCISSIST? |
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ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH A NARCISSIST?
| Quote: | "Rule of thumb...if you have to come here to ask that question, no matter what he is, it isn't good and you should run."
...member cowgirlup33 |
| Quote: | | "I had no idea there were others going through this very same thing." |
Is Your Partner a Narcissist? From Loving the Self Absorbed by Dr. Nina Brown
Take this quiz and find out. Based on your knowledge of your partner, answer each of the following using this scale:
5-Always or almost always does this
4-Frequently does this
3-Does this sometimes
2-Seldom does this
1-Never of almost never does this
Quiz:
1. Constantly looks to you to meet their needs
2. Expects you to know what he/she expects, desires, and needs without having to ask for it
3. Gets upset when you are perceived to be critical or blaming
4. Expects you to put his/her needs before your own
5. Seeks attention in indirect ways
6. Expects you to openly admire him/her
7. Acts childish, e.g., sulks or pouts
8. Accuses you of being insensitive or uncaring without cause or notice
9. Finds fault with your friends
10. Becomes angry when challenged or confronted
11. Does not seem to recognize your feelings
12. Uses your disclosures to criticize, blame, or discount you
13. Is controlling
14. Lies, distorts, and misleads
15. Is competitive and uses any means to get what is wanted
16. Has a superior attitude
17. Is contemptuous of you and others
18. Is arrogant
19. Is envious of others
20. Demeans and devalues you
21. Is self-centered and self absorbed
22. Has to be the center of attention
23. Manipulates others to win attention
24. Is impulsive and reckless
25. Boasts and brags
26. Is insensitive to your needs
27. Makes fun of others’ mistakes or faults
28. Engages in seductive behavior
29. Is vengeful
30. Expects favors, but does not return them
Total:
126-150-It’s likely that your partner is a narcissist
102-125-Your partner has many narcissistic characteristics
78-101-Your partner has some troubling narcissistic traits
54-77-Your partner has few destructive narcissistic traits
30-53-It’s unlikely that your partner is a narcissist.
"He can swtich from being Mr. Great to Mr. Terror in a split second."
"It's constant chaos in our lives, he thrives on it."
"The things he accuses me of are shockingly preposterous."
"He's afraid of abandonment but he pushes everyone away."
"He can perform surgery, but loses it around my birthday."
"He's only concerned about how something will affect him."
Excerpt "When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong, Loving or Leaving the Narcissist in Your Life", Mary Jo Fay
Are you in a relationship where you feel that your partner is more important than you?
Do you often feel like a failure in the relationship and blame yourself for things going badly?
Do you tell yourself, "If I just try harder, things will be fine?"
Do you wonder what happened to the great person you were first involved with, and why he or she is so different now?
Do you feel numb and exhausted from the constant strain?
Do you keep hoping that "someday" things will get better?
Do you have an overwhelming sense of guilt much of the time?
Are you always told you're responsible for things going wrong?
Have you give up your time, ambition, interests, and life for someone else?
If so, there's a good chance you're involved with a narcissist. The next question is: Just how much longer do you want to live this way?
Narcissistic Vampire Checklist by Albert J. Bernstein PhD
http://psy.rin.ru/eng/article/142-101.html
Here's how to tell if you're being zapped: Don't hesitate to politely excuse yourself; move at least twenty feet from him (outside the range of his energy field). If you receive immediate relief, there's your answer.
How To Stop Absorbing The Energy of Others by Judith Orloff MD
http://www.drjudithorloff.com/stopAbsorbing.asp
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The Detective Work - For Medical Practitioners and others who treat abused patients.
A sampling of questions to open the conversation:
1. Do you struggle with feelings of guilt or blame that any problems in your relationship are your fault?
2. Are you frequently fearful of what your partner's mood might be like when he (or she) comes home at the end of the day?
3. Do you feel constantly exhausted?
4. Are you having trouble sleeping?
5. Do you ever wonder if your partner is telling you the complete truth?
6. Do you feel as though your partner is more important than you are?
7. Do you ever feel as though you are “walking on eggshells” around your partner?
8. Does your partner ever seem as though his (or her) personality can change in no time? For example, he came in the door after work seemingly happy, and in minutes is sullen, angry, quiet, or depressed?
9. Do you ever feel as though you are given the “silent treatment” by your partner? (They will know what you mean if they are.)
10. Do you have to ask your partner's permission to do anything?
11. Do you have limited or no access to your financial accounts?
12. Do you ever have suicidal thoughts?
13. Do you feel as though you are rarely getting your needs met in this relationship, or that your needs always come last?
14. Do you feel as though your partner treats you as though he or she is your parent, not your equal?
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=25504
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