today is 1st anniversary of no contact w/ my daughter and her dad (my ex, divorced from him over 20 yrs., but stayed 'friends' until last year), both of whom have psychologically and emotionally abused me for over 30 years. this anniversary brought it all back, thoughts, feelings, anxiety. he and i were also seeing a therapist for several years who abused boundaries w/ me by becoming my best friend and employer, as well as therapist, so i'm also recovering from that/those relationships with her). i am using physical massage as a means to release toxic emotions, but have no psych. therapist with which to speak about how to keep moving forward. i am a retired therapist myself, am using all the therapy i know on myself, but this anniversary knocked me for a loop. i do stretching, emdr on myself, meditation, stopped smoking, recovering alcoholic for 16 yrs., have worked through many issues and gotten off meds for bi-polar diagnosis (no depression for over a year), many other physical issues, utilize vit. therapy now, am eating better. i don't know what else to do. any suggestions? i thought this support group for recovery would be helpful as well, but it's very confusing as to how to get into a forum/discussion. would appreciate any suggestions and direction.