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Are my hands still tied?

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

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Are my hands still tied?

Postby Freeandhealing » Wed Mar 11, 2015 8:10 pm

After almost 19 years of a verbally and mentally abusive marriage with a narcissistic husband, I finally found my way out, and thankfully so did my youngest daughter (who is now 20). My oldest daughter (he adopted her when she was 4 and we were newly weds) stayed with him because everyone else was leaving and she would be all alone. The gory details are that in the last 10 years of our marriage , my husband refused to sleep in the same bed as me, saying I snored too loud or the bed made his back hurt. But more than once I woke in the morning to find my then 16 yr old laying on his mattress on the living room floor with him. I balked, complained, even reprimanded her and she have excuses about her bedroom having a wasp or ladybug in it. Soon we moved into a new house and the story changed, but he and she slept on the couch! Him on one side and her on the other. I was in total denial that anything was ever going on, but friends and relatives asked me why he always called her cell and not mine, etc. she never dated during HS or college, and once graduated continued to live with us until I left and as I said she still is with him. My final realization of the facts were when my 4 yr old grandson stated to his mom that he tried to crawl into bed with the two of them the other night and they promptly returned him to his own bed! How can I get to my daughter ? She won't respond to me when called or texted. She is so much in a Stockholm syndrome situation and I need some help and suggestions please
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Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2015 6:32 pm


Re: Are my hands still tied?

Postby samvaknin » Fri Mar 13, 2015 12:21 pm

Your daughter is an adult. She has the right to make her own choices and commit her own mistakes. All you can and should do is share your point of view with her and refer her to relevant literature.

Narcissists, psychopaths, ***, and marital fidelity

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4920

VIDEOS The Narcissist's Sexuality

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... 0S6MrktltX

Click on these links for detailed topic guides - everything you ever wanted
to know about narcissists and psychopaths:

Toxic Relationships with Malignant Narcissists and Psychopaths

VIDEOS Abuse in Relationships with Narcissists and Psychopaths

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL ... ature=plpp

How to Recognize a Narcissist or a Psychopath on Your First Date, Before It
is Too Late?

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4976

Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5013

Narcissistic and Psychopathic Parents and Their Children

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4727

Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5002

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5000

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4959

I miss him so much - I want him back!

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4934

Guilt? What guilt?

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4931

How Victims are Pathologized and re-abused by the System

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5068

The Narcissist and Psychopath in Society
The Narcissist and Psychopath as Criminals

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5003

The Narcissist is Above the Law

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4983

The Narcissist as Liar and Con-man

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4951

VIDEOS Psychopathic Narcissists in Social Settings

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL ... ature=plcp

Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality disorder and Psychopathy

VIDEOS Mind of the Psychopathic Narcissist

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL ... ature=plpp

Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4950

Narcissists as Drama Queens

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4948

The Narcissist as Know-it-all

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4945

The Narcissist as VAMPIRE or MACHINE

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4944

Narcissists and Psychopaths Devalue Their Psychotherapists

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4939

Violent, Vindictive, Sadistic, and Psychopathic Narcissists

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4938

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5048

Grandiosity, Fantasies, and Narcissism

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4923

Narcissists and Emotions

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5248

Narcissists and Mood Disorders

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5067
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:


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