I found out about my husband's double life about a year and a half ago. This is what I know so far:
-his sexual acting out started at an adolescent when he molested a six year old boy
-become addicted to porn and webcams. His sought out women who would humiliate him.
-had a long emotional affair, though it wasn't a normal one. He fed on her disgust of him and wanted her to hate him, but stick around as well.
-spent money secretly
-was flirting with the idea of hiring prostitutes
As a parent and spouse:
-he took advantage of my natural tendency for inner introspection. He subtly supported any thought of self blame on my part. By then end, I thought I was the most broken and horrible person in the world for not being able to give enough to him.
-I am University educated. But I ended up giving everything for our family. I feel completely stuck.
-he's extremely jealous of the kids. He pushes them away emotionally. Makes them feel like they are nothing but a nuisance. His time is too precious to give away to them. He's mean to them. My youngest is better at standing up to him than I am.
-he's in a 12 step group for *** addiction
-has completely changed his narcissistic supply and has become a born again christian.
-is even more arrogant than before, because now he knows the answers to everything. God micromanages all of his decisions. He wants to take the kids to church (we have always said we'd raise them secular) and I put my foot down and said no.
And yet! He seems to have some empathy when he sees strangers suffering. Is this really possible? He knows now that I roll my eyes when he starts talking about mistreatment of women, so he's starting to stop ranting on that. But I still feel in denial that there are people with no empathy.
Also, my family doesn't believe I can make it on my own. They seem reluctant to help me out. I'm having trouble understanding why they would want me to stay. Does this happen a lot? Is this one of the reasons it's so difficult to break free? I feel like I'm the crazy one.