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Worried about what will happen next...

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

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Worried about what will happen next...

Postby Scared123 » Wed Aug 13, 2014 8:56 am

Dear Dr. Vaknin,

I am scared of my ex and suspect he might be a narcissist.. if not a sociopath
here is a brief overview of the behaviors he has shown/said/done in the past:

-Always surrounded by a 'harem' of inappropriate girls, especially online
-Anger control issues, has yelled at me repeatedly
-Runs away from any argument, even when I have tried to calmly talk it out
-Faked a future with me, then denied he ever said any of it (gaslighting?)
-Blamed me for things he was in fact doing/saying
-Tried to actively make me feel insecure, he told me I was unjustly victimizing myself and letting my emotions cloud my judgements..
-Has started multiple fights with co-workers, his boss, his fellow students, and teachers at university
-Major mommy issues - he dislikes her with an unusual passion
-Has moved around the globe everytime his fake personality falls through in a country
-Acts superior, laughs at people behind their backs
-Unpredictable moodswings
-Needs to be in control
-Self medicates with marijuana and alcohol
-Used to give me the silent treatment for a certain amount of time until I took the blame
-Told me during our second break up that he is a sociopath and a manic depressive (but refuses therapy)??
-Very snide and rude deamenour towards 'inferior' people
-Never apologizes, only says "Sorry you feel that way"
-Tries to press the reset button on all his relationship, swooping back in without apologies after a considerable amount of time where he suspects the victim has forgotten his transgressions.

Please tell me what I should do if I were to run into him again, we're practically neighbors and have a similar social circle. I'm currently No Contact, but am scared of seeing him..

Thank you!!
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Re: Worried about what will happen next...

Postby samvaknin » Thu Aug 14, 2014 5:44 pm

Follow the advice here:

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse3.html

Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse19.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse20.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse12.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse13.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse5.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse6.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq4.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/npdtips.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/5.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/4.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq75.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal68.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal56.html

Working with the System and with Professionals

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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