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It's been a long time....if ever!

 
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am



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 126
PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:50 pm    Post subject: It's been a long time....if ever! Reply with quote
Today I did something courageous!!!! I put on a new swimsuit and looked in the full-length mirrior. I was so miserable and gained a gillion pounds with P that I hardly looked in the mirrior to put make-up on. When I was younger and complimented often on my figure, I always found flaws and was critical.

So today, after months of working out to relieve the stress, I finally did it. Looked at myself. What did I see?! I looked pretty good! Yes, there are a lot more flaws, such as vericose veins, than the young insecure me had, but for once, I was comfortable in my skin......veins and all!

Guess I am learning to love myself in many ways. It felt good. Don't get me wrong, I won't be on the cover of Sports Illustrated...... but I can walk with my head up. I think the inside really reflects on the outside. P used to tell me constantly to stand up straight. Hmmmmmmmmm, haven't had that problem since he left.

Looking forward to summer... Laughing
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Lukky



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 2407
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ohhhhh am I just read this and what a proud moment for you!! I am so happy for you and what a day to celebrate... I bet you feel fantastic right now and I hope you get to see Summer soon and wear that swim suit on the beach.......
Lots of Hugs
Lukky (not Lurky) Smile
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

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WindSong
Site Admin


Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1674
Location: In A State Of Confusion
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
AM you babydoll! Good for you and I am so proud of you! I feel like a proud mama! You feel good about you and know that you are a strong woman who is taking control of her life! I'm loving watching this!!!!

Big hugs and love to you!
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I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com
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Cookie2



Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1378
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hi am Laughing Good to see you Laughing I'm thinking Lurky doesnt like her name Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing I knew you were going to get to the point your at am.....can I say it? I TOLD YOU SO Laughing Laughing Hon...I'm overweight...not just a little either...have been all my life really except for the times I did weight watchers...course that never has lasted...I have a swimming pool here where I live...plus my Drs have said the only excersize I should do is to swim.....I'm there all the time in the summer....I know I don't look good.but that is not going to keep me from something I love to do....And I dont just sit in the sun either...I'm known as the one who gets the most use out of the pool...so many women because they dont look good in a suit wont do it...But I will....I can hardly wait Laughing
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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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am



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 126
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
That will be a next step to go in public....lol Embarassed
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Cookie2



Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1378
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Maybe it's just me.....but I've never heard any comments made about my size.....never seen anyone look at me funny....All the fat comments I ever heard came from my dad and 2 sisters...and they would comment on everyones weight....but I've already established that they are all IDIOTS Embarassed I think it's all in your perception....one of my neighbor ladys used to be just huge.....she claims she saw a lot of slights to her because of her weight....She has since had the bypass....I'll tell you this...She was a bitch b4 when she was heavy and she's still a bitch Laughing Damn the surgery didnt help her in that dept Laughing am...you've shown such strength in all you went thru....this will be a cake walk Laughing
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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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am



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 126
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thanks friends.....like I said....it's not on the outside as much as the inside. Getting there!

Cookie,Windsong, and Lucky....haven't ever seen you in person but you shine on the inside and are an inspiration to many!

Cookie,
In my youth, I had an eating-disorder. Thought I was fat at 100 pounds. Am much heavier now than I was then but loving myself so much more. It comes down to self-acceptance.

I truly believe if you don't accept yourself, flaws and all, you are just another target for a P. Mine told me he was ready to "heal" me. Heal me from what?! I never want to be that vulnerable again.

Hugs,
Am
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lemondroppr



Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 1431
PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Am Smile You are beautiful just the way you are Smile I'm glad you like what you see. And my, my! Brave enough to put on a bathing suit even! LOL, I'm not that brave Smile

Hugs Smile That's good news Am!
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