Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

I talked to my psychopathic father and narcissistic personality disordered mother. They tried their devious manipulation tactics again. Honestly i was bored because i was able to recognize it from start to finish. It was an eye opener on the importance of the no contact rule. I did it because i am unable to get a job at the moment so i tried to get some money from my parents,if this sounds absurd wait for this i am still in my teens and i am in college in a foreign land. That is the absurd part.

So, you went back to old patterns in a time of stress. You are not the first one. how many times did I break the NC rule before I let it stick? Oh many many many times, I would say a decade of torture.

It was not until I had children, and saw my n parents abusing my children that I was able to get NC to stick.

I would say, that when I was around your age, I started to suspect that something was wrong with my parents. I did not know what specifically, so for the most part, I just stayed away. I saw them in snippets when they would barge in on my life, and ruin a party here and there, and a wedding, etc.. but really, it was not until I got to know them in my adult life, that I actually saw what psychopaths they BOTH were..

Do not be so hard on yourself. But do keep a journal and a log of your feelings, and remember this the next time you want to call them, and then expect for them to act like real parents. with each disappointing encounter, you will figure it out, that they do not have the capacity to be normal loving people., that you are parents are probably in some sick co dependent relationship themsevles, that they envy you and are jealous of you and want to see you fail, and someday, it will make sense to cut off all contact. If they are true Ns.

Good luck to you.

First of all ... I'm sorry, Second....WOW, you're in your teens, in college AND in a foreign land!!!....
Okay, so sounds like you have ALOT going on !!!...Anyways, you are way ahead of the game, since you realize their crap at such a young age...I'm 39 and just went NC that's alot of yrs to continue to abuse someone. I hope things work out for your finances...Don't they have to support you if your a minor?

detach wrote:First of all ... I'm sorry, Second....WOW, you're in your teens, in college AND in a foreign land!!!....
Okay, so sounds like you have ALOT going on !!!...Anyways, you are way ahead of the game, since you realize their crap at such a young age...I'm 39 and just went NC that's alot of yrs to continue to abuse someone. I hope things work out for your finances...Don't they have to support you if your a minor?

That is why they are psychopaths in first place. They lack that natural human instinct to take care of their children so the answer according to them is a big,resounding NO. They do not have to take care of me as a minor but if they were normal parents then they would know that normal parents take care of their children. Let me just add this, i am in a foreign land because my psychopathic father has an insane obsession with this particular foreign land so he has tried to get into this country numerous times and i am sure the consular officers have picked up on his strange behaviour so he kept getting denied. To solve that problem he figured that if he got a child which is me to get admission into a college there he could lie his way in the country and he did. He came here for 3 weeks. The absurd thing about the whole process is that if i failed he would have gotten a perverse satisfaction from the process and he did all he could to ensure that i failed and he wanted me to still get the visa. The best scenario to capture this would be let say someone doesnt want his captive to live but he needs something from the captive so he just gives that captive a little food to keep him alive but if the captive dies no problem. That was my situation. Inspite of all this, i still got the visa through sheer determination and uncommon endurance that i am very sure i cannot replicate again. So he came, he has gone. The reason i am telling this is that during the fateful phone conversation that i broke the no contact rule, he told me that i could not live here because it was not my own country. He was clearly projecting, i knew it thanks to the knowledge i get from this site and others. This statement clearly chronicles the garbage that my father is. The country i come from is renowned for unrivalled corruption while the country i am in at the clamps down on corruption. It is not hard to imagine that my psychopatic father figured this out and as they usually deny themselves, he projected on me. Right now, i am waiting on a big break, a scholarship so that i can study. They only paid for a year to show you how blatant in their scheme they were. My dad is 49 years and i think he has done enough damage in the world for one person. I hope fate agrees with me and makes the world a better place. I hope.

If there is anything I could do to help you get to college, then let me know... I have lived in various places over Europe, and might know the systems a little better.

my parents really began displaying the abnormality when I was your age, bc then they see you are not just an appendage but an independent human being. Maybe if you talk to your professors or college FAO you can get a work study that won't conflict with your other school obligations? Is there other family, who might also know how messed up your folks are and be willing to assist you? good luck!!

Dear freeindeed,

What an amazingly savvy and strong persona you are!
More power to you on your journey, and big hugs!

faithie wrote:my parents really began displaying the abnormality when I was your age, bc then they see you are not just an appendage but an independent human being. Maybe if you talk to your professors or college FAO you can get a work study that won't conflict with your other school obligations? Is there other family, who might also know how messed up your folks are and be willing to assist you? good luck!!

You are absolutely right. But, I clashed with my parents from the time I was a small kid, because I am fiercely independent by nature, sometimes too much rebelliously so. But definitely, when they see that you have the 'nads to be an individual and a free-thinker-they clamp down hard.

freeindeed-This actually sounds like it could be a really awesome situation for you. I'm sure your foreign experience and education will serve you well later on down the road, and your psychodad will just continue to be a miserable old wretch with unfulfilled dreams.

Yeah, like every one else here, I am hugely impressed that at your age, you've identified your parents as psycho paths. When I was 18, I just escaped. Then, in my twenties, I noticed how horrible my mother really was! At the time, I thought my dad was the normal one, so I tried to hang in there for him. But then when my daughter was born, and my mom was so vicious to her, I went NC for good. My dad was welcome, but my mom was not. My dad took my moms side, and he acted very childish about it, so now I am permanently NC, for the past two years, and have never been happier!

Yeah, most parents know they are supposed to take care of their children, but Ns are a different breed. In fact, they wont take care of their children, but will want to make an appearance that they are! My ex husband never paid child support, and contributed a dime to his child. But he will swear up and down that he is dadddy of the year.. Even told the judge that he dropped at out of school so he could work to take care of his child!!! (HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAA! not THAT was funny!) goood thing for me that the courts here, are used to psycho path behavior

survivor23 wrote:Yeah, like every one else here, I am hugely impressed that at your age, you've identified your parents as psycho paths. When I was 18, I just escaped. Then, in my twenties, I noticed how horrible my mother really was! At the time, I thought my dad was the normal one, so I tried to hang in there for him. But then when my daughter was born, and my mom was so vicious to her, I went NC for good. My dad was welcome, but my mom was not. My dad took my moms side, and he acted very childish about it, so now I am permanently NC, for the past two years, and have never been happier!

Yeah, I left home the day after I graduated highschool and went NC not long after for a couple of years. Then, I went very low contact between the ages of 22-28. I finally went NC with my parents and sister at 28 years old. Now at age 32 I still maintain very LC with my much older brother. Now that my head is clear, I'm mature, and I have normal people in my life to judge my parents against-I'm understanding the level of abuse I endured.
So, yeah I think it's awesome to have such a handle on the situation at only 18 years old.

survivor23 wrote:Yeah, most parents know they are supposed to take care of their children, but Ns are a different breed. In fact, they wont take care of their children, but will want to make an appearance that they are!

Yes!! My parents are incredibly stingy people that lie about their "generosity". I wore rags to school up until I started working to buy decent clothes. I didn't have a warm coat to wear to school until I was a junior in highschool. My father didn't even let me wear his sweaters in the winter when I was trying to keep warm. They wouldn't put a dime toward my university education. I put myself through community college for my first two years (which I couldn't get financial aid for because they were still claiming me on their taxes-illegally). While I was living on my own and going to community college, they had the nerve to tell people around town that they were putting me through college at the local state university and how "spoiled" I was.

So, it must be a common trait among Ns to overstate their investment in their children. Survivor23 - its interesting that you brought that point up.

Thanks,everyone for your replies. I appreciate your support. Yesterday, my npf called again. I know i was wrong to pick but even though they have abandoned me, he won't let an opportunity to torment me pass him by. What set up this call was the naive "friend" of my mother. She had the bad idea of confronting my parents about my situation. My npf saw this as an opportunity to torment me. He called in his usual, bullying voice and "assured" me that he is doing his best to buy the books. As everyone here should know narcissists and psychopaths are extremely selfish people. The call was simply to torment me because he doesnt just get it neither does he care about anyone but himself.. Obviously, i still feel hurt but i cant do anything but heal and move forward. I accepted the call because if i didnt he would stir up trouble from his followers. He is a pastor in a pentecostal church.

freeindeed wrote: He is a pastor in a pentecostal church.

Wow. I wish you luck, Free. You are in an awful situation. Stay strong.

1PrettyMirror wrote:

freeindeed wrote: He is a pastor in a pentecostal church.

Wow. I wish you luck, Free. You are in an awful situation. Stay strong.

1prettymirror, thanks for the encouragement i have no choice but to stay strong. Really i have no choice. So i will cheerfully keep on staying strong until things turn in my favor and i will working to get in a favorable situation.

My nm mother just got a job where i attend college(i am currently out of school for financial reasons). I had to talk to her and since she is controlled by my father i talked to him to. I believe i might i have let it slip that i am leaving them in a non-verbal way but right now my npf is overwhelmed with the appearances he has to keep up so i am not bothered about that. As usual he projected himself on me too in a non-verbal way. Unfortunately, i bear the same name with my npf. They have used me as a trophy son because of my good attitude then they,usually my npf will slander me by projecting his self on to people in other words he stagnates me. It is awful but i know he is a sick man and soon enough i pray this problem will expire. How it will, i dont know. Whether he will be caught and paraded for who he is i dont know, but i hope the end comes soon.

[delete

She is here and she is driving me crazy with her projection and delusions of grandeur.

username3 wrote:[delete

Hi,Username, i do not understand. I hope it a mistake because to me your comment doesnt make sense.

freeindeed wrote:

username3 wrote:[delete

Hi,Username, i do not understand. I hope it a mistake because to me your comment doesnt make sense.

It's not about you. This user has deleted all of their posts, apparently.

Thanks for the explanation,Knoxy.