Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

My ex husband recently married the woman he abandoned us for. She was a serial homewrecker that used to work for him. When the affair was exposed he left us, lost his very high paying job, lost a house, lost a car, stopped talking/seeing his child, cashed out our retirement accounts, basically...he lost it all. He is living a lie by spending all our money like a crazy person and raising someone else's family.

Anyway, I believe she is as much a narcissist as he is. Two crazies can't last and give each other the level of supply needed to endure, can they?

This sounds alot like my exN who left me for his work associate 8 years ago. I kept hoping that somehow his anger would transfer to her and she would become the victim. this hasn't happened and in fact I don't know her well but from what the children tell me, she is as bad as him - two peas in a pd. My daughter says she insults me all the time and in fact, I think their relationship is built, at least in part, on trying to destroy me and make people think that I am crazy. Unfortunately I think his next victim will be my daughter once the children are grown and I no longer will ever need to deal with him again in my life.

My exH is a N, and he married a woman I believe to be a N, and they do seem like two peas in a pod.

My daughter says she insults me all the time and in fact, I think their relationship is built, at least in part, on trying to destroy me and make people think that I am crazy.

This is EXACTLY what is happening in my situation...My ex-husband even admitted to comparing my appearance to ugly characters on TV and in the movies. I have been verbally attacted and constantly critisized and put down by these people..Constantly picked apart and berated, so I finaly sent my daughter to live with them. Interesting that I thought I was happily married for 16 years...

Wow...It just amazes me the things I read on this board and how similar they are to my situation. The same scenarios repeat over and over and over. For a long time I thought I was the only person who experienced this sort of thing.

As far as my ex-huband's marriage turning out the same way...I don't think it will. I think they are having so much fun together attacking their victims.

Another thing interesting I observed in the case with my ex...When he was married to me he seemed more like me. He seemed liberal and tolerant. We talked about ethics, values, morals frequently over the years. When he got with her he just changed. He went from being a frugal person to a spendthrift. He started wearing pink dress shirts. He became a conservative Christian, and I'm not talking about the nice kind of conservative Christian, I'm talking about the mean judgemental kind that flaunt their Christianity and think everyone is going to hell unless they believe the way they do. At the time separated he was being considered for the vestry at my parish and had just been confirmed.

Sorry, c me now and bluesunshine. I've heard about men leaving their family and taking on other women's children like that and it's difficult to understand.

Do these people have any clue who they are or are they just followers?

c me now wrote:Anyway, I believe she is as much a narcissist as he is. Two crazies can't last and give each other the level of supply needed to endure, can they?

Sure they can. They can continue to stay together because they both get off on the drama.

What a horrible way to live, eh? I'm glad you got out (although I'm sorry this happened to you). He'll do the same to her or worse and if she's an inverted N - she'll lap it up and live in victim mode, thus getting her own supply. Gross.

AmberEyes wrote:I have been verbally attacted and constantly critisized and put down by these people..Constantly picked apart and berated, so I finaly sent my daughter to live with them.

Did I read that correctly? You sent your daughter to live with a pair of Ns who are constantly bashing you?

Yes it is possible for two N's to have a long term "blissful" relationship. I watched my Nmom and Nstepdad do it for 25 years. I used to feel guilty for being so disgusted by them when I was growing up. She was 20 years younger than him and he was a pedophile so you can imagine...sorry for the visual lol.
My daughter recently related this story:
When she (my daughter) was 10, she was visiting these two. It was morning and they were all sitting around the kitchen bar area having breakfast. Nmom walks in with the newspaper, sets it down in front of Nstepdad and says "look honey I brought in the paper" Nstepdad then gets up and gives Nmom a teary-eyed level display of undying gratitude while Nmom basks in the glow of her sacrifice while my daughter sits there open-mouthed trying to figure out why its such an earth shattering big deal that Nmom walked a whole 10 feet and got the paper.
These two people had found in each other a safe, reliable source of Narcissistic Supply and proceeded to gross out the whole family for decades. Growing up, I'd considered theirs a "special" love. Now I know that it was an illusion that screwed up my definition of love through most of my adult life.

I hear you Scarlett, Ive seen that dynamic in action too, its horribly damaging for children, and anyone exposed to it - and whats worse is that as a team, two Ns present a double whammy of abuse.

I agree its one of the most sickening things to witness.