Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

I've been on holiday with my friend, her daughters and my daughter. Had a good time - better than I thought I would. But I saw a mutual friend of mine & XN yesterday who told me that OW gets XN & his son free tickets to see his favourite team. This explains why he replaced me so quickly and totally. Once he found that out, my fate was sealed.

I've been handling OW situation pretty well on the whole, knowing that she will get the same treatment as me. But now I'm not so sure. Now I'm back to thinking she may be the one he sticks with as she can get him tickets all the time, so why would he leave? I'm also thinking that because of this he's going to treat her better than me. He's introduced her to our mutual friends, one girl of which I'd become close to and who knows all I've gone through, but it appears she's readily accepted OW into their group and I feel betrayed.

Anyway, I suppose my question is does this sort of ongoing supply make a difference? I'd sought of counted on her suffering like me, seeing as she knew about me, but it appears she isn't. Someone talk some sense into me please.

Hi Jasmine, can I recommend that you go fully NC, because being fully NC means that you make sure mutual friends don't pass on news about the XN in your life, and if anyone hasn't got that message and they start down the "let me tell you about your X...." road you cut them off with a polite "thanks but its really not my business anymore so I'd rather not know".

The benefit of the above is that you don't get hooked back into focussing on the XN, OW or anything else that takes your attention away from where it should be, on you and your recovery. He is not a part of your life now nor is the OW. Let it go and know that if he is an N she will eventually join our club of N survivors. However, if you keep receiving news about the XN and OWs in his life you will keep churning over interminable questions in your mind.

I'm glad you had a nice hoiliday!

I'm sorry if it seems harsh, but really its the best of advice anyone can give you.

Hi Jasmine. I agree with Aisha. You have to go NC and forget about what N is doing. Do you really think that the foundation of a good relationship is based on OW getting XN tickets? She will have the same faith as you.... but that really doesn't matter. You will have a very difficult time moving on if you continue receiving information about what N is doing. Why would you want to know??? This is already hard for you... why add to your frustation and agony?

I encourage you to go NC. As someone that didn't believe in NC for a very long time... I can now tell you that it is the ONLY way out of this. You can do it... go for it

Thanks. I am taking more steps forward than back. Full NC is difficult because of work and mutual friends, but it isn't very often. Also I was out for a friends birthday last night and whilst we managed to avoid being in the same pubs, he did come into one that we were in. I came face to face with him at one stage, but didn't show any reaction. It was the first time I've seen him 10 weeks. I thought he looked old and smaller than I remembered but it was still difficult,