sm33 wrote:KNOXY- i wanted to ask you something , sorry for interuppting the thread...i was always curious to know what my exN never does anything , like no contact or anything. does that mean that he isnt the typical textbook N or does it just mean he had things to replace me for now or know that i want something more and tha the cant give it to me. I feel that he will nevre contact me ever again. And i know that is good, but i was just curious with that part cause it seems its very rare with N;s thanks Knoxy, hope that makes sense.
I started a new thread so we don't hijack the other one. :)
I am not an expert - just what I've read, learned here and experienced. Some N's do a true D&D and don't contact for years - only to rear their head at an unexpected time. Some disappear forever. Most seem to poke in every now and again - mostly when we're happy and moving on.
I didn't have D&D with mine. He was cheating and I changed the locks on him. Weeks thereafter, the whole thing exploded and I learned the truth about the multiple women, lies about money, lies about pretty much everything ever feasible - 100% covertly. I dumped him and never looked back again. He tried to contact me several times. All the while, telling the OW he loved her and wasn't trying to contact me. He begged to come back when I let him go - of course, he denied it all to her.
The last contact was 11/2007. I had to keep contact for a few months per my lawyer as he owed me a great deal of money and the lawyer wanted a paper trail showing my attempts to collect a debt. The lawyer attempted 100% contact go through him - the exN had nothing to do with that. Hence, I blocked all forms of contact. To this day, he cannot reach me. I know my lack of response drives him nuts - and good.
The thing is, you never know. You don't know 100% sure if he will or won't contact you. You can assume by using logic, but then you are "normalizing him" and assuming he thinks logically. If he's disordered, there is no logic. You can't bank on anything. SO this is why I personally think it's best, whenever possible, to just cut off all forms of contact. What does it hurt to do so?
Many people don't because they either think they don't need to - or they aren't ready to kill the chance of contact again...
