Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

I met my husband online 3 years ago and we started an international relationship (UK to US). He was the most adoring, attentive man anyone could ask for, and suddenly, I had found my best friend and soulmate. We married a year and a half ago, filed for his green card (which took 10 months to get), he sold his house in Scotland in July '09 and was poised to come here for good in Nov. '09 (the only thing keeping him in the UK was a sudden few month consultancy with NHS).

On his "last visit" before the big move, he came over in August '09 to oversee an addition we were putting onto my home so that his parents/son could stay with us. He actually handed over $20,000 for said renovation. He left a week after construction began and returned to the UK one last time. We phoned, but relations were strained, though we never fought before, during or after. Suddenly, without warning, he announced that he was never returning to the US! No reasons given. He just said that he made his own decisions about where he wanted to be, and he had decided to stay there. He said he'd call several days later to discuss "money issues."

I immediately filed for divorce and had an immigration attorney draft a letter to USCIS. I did speak to my husband once, and though he "allowed" me to cry and vent, he really was only interested in getting back half of the money for the renovation. I have not heard from him again and he refused to respond to email, and has changed all contact information, whereabouts unknown. The divorce papers were delivered to his parents' home -- I have no idea where he lives -- but as of yet, there has not been a response.

Is this typical behavior for one with NPD? I have read as much as I can on this site and others, and Garry fits the definitions, except that he is not particularly outgoing. What can I expect from this divorce? Why the stall in signing the papers? is it a control issue? I'm giving him what he wants -- with the exception of the money he laid out for a room that HE designed, developed and was responsible for.

What's the silent treatment about? How does this get us any closer to dissolution?

Thanks for any insights!

Barbara

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/5000

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4959

Does the Narcissist Have a Multiple Personality (Dissociative Identity
Disorder)?

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4950

Narcissists as Drama Queens

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/na ... ssage/4948