Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1378

their p without any help?
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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

artichokeheart · Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:22 pm Post subject:

I left on my own, that was never the hard part for me. The hard part was not going back. My father helped me with that.

WindSong · Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:30 pm Post subject:

I made him leave. I was on my own with only a drug addict as a friend to listen and pick me up off the floor. But I did dip and I let him back a few times. Well once for two weeks and he went right back to his old self, and then a couple of times for day visits while my kids were at school. I just wanted the sex. By the time he would walk through the door I would want to do the sex and then have him leave. Isn't that horrible? Shocked

But I moved 70 miles away from my home town and family and had no one except the drug addict. She kept me straight believe it or not and I stepped up and started doing it on my own. It was hard, but it was doable and I have no regrets!
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wahela11 · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 182 Location: Iowa

I left after packing for ten minutes, loaded my car with my computer, my antique steamer trunk, my clothes and my dog. I put the car in gear and drove like h*ll to the next Major city. I got an extended stay Motel room (where I could have my dog), and I just "sat" there for over two weeks (my vacation from work, lol). I did leave all on my own, but I had the benefit of EAP (employee assistance program) where they set up the appts, and paid for 12 visits, so I went three times a week for a few weeks, then twice a week, then once a week, etc.

I had left a total of five times, going back four times. The last time I left, I saw him only once (had to give him the measly two dollars for the notary or he wouldn't send the divorce papers back. LOL)
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, each time, hoping for a different ending

stellarwnd · Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 104 Location: California

I filed for divorce (papers took a week to get), got a temporary restraining order and temporary custody of my girls all in one swoop. I moved in one day.

He did not know what hit him. He had breakfast and went to his office and was served. He had no idea.

I made the decision on my own (but hired a lawyer....does that count as help?).

It was all shocking to even myself because I am not a hard-nosed person. I am a weak person in fact.

It took losing our house to actually make THE decision. Losing our home pushed me to make the decision. I was on the fence for a year before that.

Stellar

Hummingbird · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 40

Oh you guys all had it so hard! The P. left all on his own...he had six times before (had me believing that he was leaving cuz I wanted him to). On the sixth, I told him I'd help him pack and that would be it.

The seventh time occured right after our "wedding" (can't call it that, more like a Joke). I did what I said I would...and boy was he surprised. After all his empty promises of him saying he would NEVER leave, I was done. Actually, I did hang on for a few weeks in total shock and denial but that was it.

I feel for all of you who had to kick them out.

Hugs,
Hum
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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.

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stillsmilen · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 355

I didn't live with my XNP- THANK GOD!!! But I ended up losing my job over the nightmare, my insurance too.

So I discovered he was a P, then he hit me with a smear campaign that nearly ruined my life (false police report, bogus PPO, etc...) and I lost my job all in a span of 2 weeks.

Since I lost my insurance, I feel like I did go through it alone, as I could not afford the mental health help I desperately needed. But with the help of my 1st year psych major teenage son, lovefraud, and all of you guy's...I did it!! And now I feel stronger than I ever have!!

Cool

stillsmilen
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I made him very sorry that he chose me as a victim!!!
He may have knocked me down, but I got right back up... And kicked his a**!!
(metaphorically speaking ofcourse, but if he hadn't gotten the PPO, I probably would have done it literally too!!)

Lukky · Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2407

I took mine back 8 times..... I lost many friends as they lost faith in my abilty to stop putting myself in danger!!! I couldnt see the wood for the trees and looking back I was a walking disaster zone...anyway the important friends stuck around...

So the last time when he threatened suicide for the 50 billionth time!!!I got my best friend to came and help me pack up and I moved for two months into a Womans shelter... We had it all done in an hour and the moving men put my stuff in storage....

I then proceeded to have him very nicely popped into the local Mental Health Unit for a wee stint. In a very supervised meeting there I advised him he was never to come near me again, call me, text me, email me..I then stood up and walked out not looking back..... Lasted for four and a bit months as many of you know,,, but I'm now back on track thanks to my Cookie friend and all you others....(I still dont think its fair I have to start my time again tho of NC ..... LOL)
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

Nolongerhisvictim · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1380

My Situation was much (too much) like Stillsmilen's....onlyI worked in a prison....where he victimized me and claimed I victimized him.....ASSHOLE!!!!!! I still cannot believe that I was so "sucked in" to his crap that I tried to protect him with the authorities...he turned on me (his plan all along to attempt suing my employer so he'd be set financially upon his release)! Luckily the authorities could see through all his crap! He wrote me all these love letters...told me to tear them up cuz he didn't want anyone to find them...I tore all of them up but one....THANK GOD!!!! It was the one bit of evidence I had that he was coming on to me....there were also other circumstances in my life that made me vulnerable to his crap too...but it still makes me sick that I tried to protect his ass.....STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!!!!!! BUT NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! LOSER POS!!!!!!! (Boy, that felt good!)
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NLHV

sweetcaroline51 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 529 Location: Canada

While my ex NP husband was out of town for 2 weeks visiting his sick elderly N Mother, I packed up the house and l left. I was soooo broke, my sister lent me money for movers. I packed up a 4 bedroom house in 1 night from 5pm to 5am. The movers came at 6am -I asked them to come as early as possible because I really didn't know when he would be back because we weren't speaking at that time. He got home 2 days later-to an empty home, no wife. He had a 'breakdown" shortly thereafter. Lost his job and ended up in the psych ward-where he met his new gf.!!!! Did I do it on my own? Yes, I guess so-I stayed with my niece for 9 months before moving back to my home city. Am I sorry? NO. Then, I initiated nc-that was 19 months ago. Fortunately, because I actually left town, I started a new job, got unlisted number, and none of my family would have anything to do with him so to this day, he doesn't know where I live or work. Wow, to relive that period is painful.
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Caroline

Cookie2 · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1378

We most certainly DO Laughing

I agree with you...it IS very important for the new members to see that others DID get thru it...read about HOW others got thru it....KNOW that it definantly was NOT easy for us...KNOW how at one time WE felt just as alone and helpless as they do... Crying or Very sad

I know thats what got me thru it....The people on this site...the finding out I wasnt the only person who had the smear campaign done on them....And I've had that smear campaign done by others as well since leaving the p.....I HIT THE ROAD so fast....and let it go because I know what is the truth...YES Matilda....WE DO ROCK Laughing

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I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie

Echo · Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject:

Hi All, Wow, when you read everyones stories one after the other, its so very moving.

Id got mine in my own house, and the more I tried to get him out, the more angry he got. I telephoned the police after one incident, and I wouldnt tell them my name so the policeman said - "He has to draw blood before we can help". Ill never forget that!

Anyway, one night I was on my way home from work and there was a policeman in the street outside my house. I froze, wondering what hed done now. It wasnt for him, so I cornered the policeman and told him I needed help. They came round on the Sunday, he was out(OWs) and they told me to get an RO.

My father, my best friend and I then went to the policestation, they werent treating it very seriously, told me "most women go back". I remember my Dad and friend getting mad at him and me saying "Its OK, Ill just have to prove it to them". And I did. I never broke the RO, never spoke to him again.

He got put away soon after for hurting OW, but then started stalking when he came out. I dont know where he is or what hes doing now. Great Thread! Hugs everyone Very Happy

Echo.