One of these mornings
Won't be very long
You will look for me
And I'll be gone
This song somehow reminds me that the pain and 'reliving' the trauma won't take forever.
~~~~~~
"In the air tonight" by Phil Collins
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord
Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
I‘ve seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been
It‘s all been a pack of lies
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord, oh lord
Well I remember, I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget, it's the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me
The hurt doesn’t show; but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you or me
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord...
This song reminds me of how you have to learn that N is not showing you love by treating you this way.... it's a bit like your own inner true self speaking
'I was there I saw what you did' and then 'the first time, the last time we ever met' When ACON/ACOAs abandon their own true self in order to survive and to fit N's picture of them.
And 'the hurt doesn't show, but the pain still grows, it's no stranger to you and me' As a reminder that there is a reason why N has turned into what they are...because they themselves have been mistreated...
~~~~~~
"Second Chance"
My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere
[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance
Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere
'I made it through the day' as it says- we've survived
'Said why you always running in place
even the man in the moon disappeared somewhere in the stratosphere'To me 'running in place' means being 'stuck' in life, being helpless and depressed and not getting anywhere, being held back by the past, so to speak.
'even the man in the moon disappeared' That phrase for me symbolises the dreams, wishes and hopes our inner child once harboured; but that were denied/ridiculed first by the N-parent and then by our 'false self' (internalised N-parent).
'Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can, make them realise this is my life' Is pretty much self-explanatory. For all the children that were made to feel they were never good enough.
~~~~~
"Advertising Space" by Robbie Williams
There's no earthly way of knowing
What was in your heart
When it stopped going
The whole world shook
A storm was blowing through you
Waiting for God to stop this
And up to your neck in darkness
Everyone around you was corrupted
Saying somethin'
There's no dignity in death
To sell the world your last breath
They're still fighting over
Everything you left over
Through your eyes
The world was burning
Please be gentle
I'm still learning
You seemed to say
As you kept turning up
They poisoned you with compromise
At what point did you realise
Everybody loves your life
But you ahahh
'There's no earthly way of knowing what was in your heart when it stopped going. The whole world shook, a storm was blowing through you. Waiting for God to stop this, and up to your neck in darkness'
For me symbolises the abuse (pick whatever kind) done to an innocent child.
'everyone around you was corrupted' That could be people not believing you when you reported abuse, or it could show the fact that co-n's usually expect all the people they meet to be N beause their N-parent has influenced their experiences and expectations.
'At what point did you realise, everybody loves your life but you' The ACON/ACOA's feelings when they feel 'their hole in the soul', when they feel lonely no matter what, when they realise that the people pleasing they're doing is really nothing but an act...
~~~~~
"Feel" by Robbie Williams
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
Scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
Cos I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel
Real love and the love ever after
I can not get enough
I just wanna feel
Real love feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste
I just wanna feel
Real love and the love ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
[i]'come on hold my hand, I wanna contact the living' As a way to describe the 'out of body feeling victims have', the numbness, as if they were 'standing next to themselves just watching...'not really living'
'I sit and talk to God and he just laughs at my plans' That's describing the child’s idealisation of the parent (whether abusive or not) Children see their parents as God like and infallible.
'my head speaks a language that I don't understand' When they feel mistreated, but know they 'need' the parent to survive, the children suppress their anger/pain at being abused and instead identify with the parent/abuser and start thinking 'they're right to treat me this way. I am bad...etc.'
'I just wanna feel real love in the home that I live in' The little child’s /ACOA/ACON's search for unconditional love...
~~~~
Hope this makes any sense to people who read it.
None of the lyrics belong to me, only the interpretation of them is mine.
