Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Echo · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:36 pm Post subject:

Hi JJL, Thanks for your kind wishes. All of that is well behind me now, thankfully, but I dont mind talking about it if it helps others in the same position.

I think that emotional abuse is the worst of all in some ways. Bruises heal, bones heal, but boy when someones got those pliers in your head - it hurts.

Always try and remember - the shame is HIS not yours - try not to carry it for him. He is disordered and too weak in reality to carry it himself - thats why he trys to make you carry it.

Thanks for you post. You take care now Very Happy

Nolongerhisvictim · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1435

I just felt the need to add something...We are all responsible for our own actions...whether we feel them or not...IMO they are responsible for their actions toward us as well. All of their actions are calculated risks which they take to get what they want! An example of this is my P is a cold, unfeeling person who doesn't care who or what he destroys as long as he gets what he wants in the end. He told me he planned and committed 3 counts of robbery. Does anyone here think he shouldn't have done time for his crimes? More than likely not...so if he should pay for these cold-hearted, unfeeling acts of robbery (which he did time for) then why should he be "pardoned" for what he did to me? I say forget that CRAP! He ain't getting SQUAT from me! He took EVERYTHING else...He isn't getting that!!!!! Just needed to say that! (BOY THAT FELT GOOD!!! HE"S A BIG BUTT-HEAD!!!) Very Happy

_________________
NLHV

alamobelle3 · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 617 Location: San antonio Texas

Of course its their fault - they are in charge of their choices and behaviors .

They are not legally insane by any definition that is accepted by the
courts .

They often make sure the abuse is not witnessed by others and will deny what they did when questioned.

Narcissism is a DEFENSE MECHANISM built by them and chosen by them over and over again and usually at the expense of someone else.

They try and work the oh poor me - Dont fall for it.

They do not and should not ever get a pass for the choices they make
or the damage they do to others.
_________________
illegitimis non carborundum

Ginger Rodgers matched Fred Astaire step for step only she did it backwards and in high heels !

Echo · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:04 pm Post subject:

NLHV - Get it OUT girl Laughing

ROFLMAO!! I can tell that feels better Wink

Alamobelle - great points -thanks! Smile

lemondroppr · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1464

I agree with you Alamo. Why else would they sneak behind your back, lie, deceive and lead their double/triple lives? Because they know it's wrong. Why else would my ex mouth "fuck you, fuck you" to me when he was on the phone with his brother? He didn't want his brother to know that he was verbally abusing me.

So, is it their fault? Their behavior is........ they can choose to not behave the way they do. That's apparent to me.

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2015

Are personality disorders the outcomes of inherited traits? Are they brought on by abusive and traumatizing upbringing? Or, maybe they are the sad results of the confluence of both?

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders27.html

When we are born, we are not much more than the sum of our genes and their manifestations. Our brain - a physical object - is the residence of mental health and its disorders. Mental illness cannot be explained without resorting to the body and, especially, to the brain. And our brain cannot be contemplated without considering our genes. Thus, any explanation of our mental life that leaves out our hereditary makeup and our neurophysiology is lacking. Such lacking theories are nothing but literary narratives. Psychoanalysis, for instance, is often accused of being divorced from corporeal reality.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal43.html

Question:

Should the narcissist be held accountable for his actions?

Answer:

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq71.html

Question:

The narcissist is not entirely responsible for his actions. Should we judge him, get angry at him, be upset by him? Above all, should we communicate to him our displeasure?

Answer:

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq13.html

Narcissists are not prone to "irresistible impulses" and dissociation (blanking out certain stressful events and actions). They more or less fully control their behavior and acts at all times. But exerting control over one's conduct requires the investment of resources, both mental and physical. Narcissists regard this as a waste of their precious time, or a humiliating chore. Lacking empathy, they don't care about other people's feelings, needs, priorities, wishes, preferences, and boundaries. As a result, narcissists are awkward, tactless, painful, taciturn, abrasive and insensitive.

Continue to read this article here (click on this link):

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders49.html