Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Kathryann · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 72

Actually everyone, I have had NC since December 19th, and I left my job at the end of December, moved and changed all my numbers. I got a call from my job to clear out my voice mail, which really surprised me, and sure enough on January 3rd, after the holidays, he had left a message. He sent me a text message on December 19th that he was selfless enough to let me go, you deserve better" he called the day I would have gone back to work if I would have stayed at my job. There was no apology, there was nothing, he just said he had a new telephone number and here it is. That was it. Very calm. Thank God I haven't tried to contact him, but I did try calling the number he left with *67 and it's disconnected already. So, at least I do understand the theory here on the board that they always call to make sure you still care. I was thinking today that out of the past 6 years that is probably the ONLY time I didn't return a message to him, and it must really surprise him that I've not done that, as much as he can be surprised. I feel SO much better today, and it's all due to what everyone here told me NC is the answer.

Thanks,

Kathryann

survivormomoftwo · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 311 Location: USA

Good for you.....it must feel good to have some power
_________________
"The quality of your life is determined by the quality of people in your life."

H. Jackson Brown

Dora_F · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 26

Hi there Kathrynann,
I always notice your posts because I have a relative I adore with the same name.
Boy have I heard that one before: I'm letting you go, you deserve better, blah, blah, blah. If only it had been that easy. I doubt its the last you've heard of him. It was always a threat made to manipulate me in some way.
Actually the night I had him arrested for assaulting me, that is how the police officers found him. When I was released from the hospital I got my girlfriend to drive me to my house to get some clothes. There was a squad car outside my house and the officers said I could go in but they had to come with me in case he was inside. The lights were all off. They went in with flash lights instead of turning on the lights or I probably wouldn't have noticed the flashing light on the answering machine. I knew right away. I said to the police, that will be him. Sure enough, I played the message "booh hoo & you deserve better, farewell". The police did a trace on the phone booth the call came from and they had him in hand cuffs 15 minutes later.
As you said, he is probably in shock that you didn't call him back. He may also be sitting trying to figure out his next move. Be prepared, just in case. Expect the unexpected and be ready. I'm pretty sure you mentioned he is an alcoholic. He's probably off drowding his sorrows for now until he runs out of luck &/or money.

Dora

sara · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 185 Location: USA

Hi Kathryann,

I've wondered if any of us who have been involved with NPs have ever gotten a real apology. The closest my X ever got was when I ended up in the hospital he said, "I didn't mean to hurt you." But, he never actually said, "I'm sorry." That's the closest he got to an apology. Most the time he would twist the facts around, and it would end up being my fault.

Stick with your NC. You're doing great!

hugs,
sara

artichokeheart · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:01 pm Post subject:

Mine did apologize, but it meant about as much as all the other lies he told me.... I don't think they can really apologize because it never comes from the right place. They only apologize to manipulate you into giving them what they want, whatever that may be.
-Teresa

betterdaysn2007 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 47

He seems to not be able to quit apologizing. Too bad he is incapable of meaning it! Ugghh...