Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Hi again Echo, everyone,, and thanks very much, for all the support, and links,, as just printed that info,, for making a plan, as had never really made any kind of plan, and even though deep down knowing, that even though the hostility towards me had not surfaced for about 9 months,, knew it was there,, just hidden, or towards others.. This newest, sudden attack by her, and the way she went from just mean, to nasty, to horrible, to physical,, and then threatening to do way worse,, like before, only seems a bit too quick, and way no care or control,, so fast,, well,, have got to find a way to make a plan,, may lose my home entirely,, that being the issue,, I want to keep it,, however,, may just have to leave,, not worry about even getting any $ for the sale, or whatever she decides to control about it,, so, making a plan,, don't know where to really begin,, have virtually no friends,, or none that can help,, or family either.. thanks again though,, I do believe in myself,,, and can see the light at the end of her endless looping tunnel now,,, thanks,, Nman

Hi Niaveman

You have posted in our links and resources section, will move to the NPD General board, where you will get more views, and will pass your message onto echo.

x

Hi NMan,

A plan..OK, here are a few things to think about for now, .

Emotional Aspects.

First of all you need to decide whether you want to stay with her and the situation as it is, or whether you want to end the relationship.

If you decide to leave - then you can work out whether you are going to plan to leave soon, or whether you are going to work towards it at a date in the future you might choose.



Financially

Who works NMan? Is it you, does your wife, do your inlaws contribute to the household?

Who pays the mortgage? Is it joint, is it you?

Who pays all the rest of the bills? Who's name are they in?

Who controls the finances? Are they joint etc?


Idea's for things to think of now if you do plan to leave in the future.


1) Open a new bank account in your name only, from your parents address , and put some money into it as and when you can.

2) If you have a will, perhaps consider altering it.

3) Contact a lawyer to find out where you stand financially. You have no children, so you should be able to get 50/50 on your house, it may also be that if she is proven abuser that she can be asked to leave, although its difficult with her parents there. You need to check this out before you do anything really.

4) Document every and any abuse. Keep getting her down on police records if she abuses you again.

5) Keep a set of clothes at your parents house incase you need to leave quickly.

6) Keep all your documents together ready incase you need to leave quickly.

7) Start saving if you can for any get-away.

8) Dont retaliate to any abuse, if she kicks off, remove yourself from the situation and call the police.


9) Contact your mortgage company and see if there is anything they can do to help.

10) Try and minimise any debts in your name, and dont take on anymore sole debts.

11) If you do think you will leave....do not tell her or her family in advance.


Just a few idea's for now....but I do urge you to get some support and quietly some legal advice about your house.

Wishing you well.