Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

sunnyday · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 35

Dr Vaknin,

Please help and advise me regarding my situation. My MIL is a narcissist and my husband is the only and "golden child", she has even fed him milk from the bottle till he was like around 10 years old. My FIL just exists for the name sake and dances to the tunes of my raging NMIL and she has totally cut him off from his family.Though my husband is a nice person individually he turns into a zombie whenever he talks to his parents and shuts down his brain completely. My In-laws live in another country and we are in USA and she controls every moment of our lives from there, my husband tells her stuff like how hot or cold the coffee is too .. it is to such an extent.

Now, during her last visit here she made sure that she cutoff my husband's relation with my family and gives me threats that if I talk or go to visit my family - my husband will divorce me - which is still a taboo in my country and it not right to walk out of a marriage. She dragged me out my room and told me to get out. I had my first child in june 2006, she poisoned my husband's brain during my stay at the hospital and he left me there when my baby was born and was kept in NICU and came back only to pick me up on the discharge day, my parents were there through out that time with me - my NMIL told him that I should either have his support or my the support of my family - I have to choose and cannot have both. Now I'm pregnant with my second child due in nov 2007, we planned to go to our country in june this year but cancelled our trip due to my pregnancy, now just 5days back I came to know through my family that my in-laws are coming to USA and my husband has not even informed me about that, I very much worried and scared about what to expect from their visit -
1. How is my NMIL going to behave with my 11month old child ?. What are things I need to be careful about.
2. Though my husband is fully aware of my NMIL's behaviour he refuses to protect me even in a situation like child birth and now I'm worried about the health of my unborn child. How Should I deal with him and why cant he stand up to his mother?.
3.Before my in-laws have landed in USA itself my husband is giving me threats that if keep contacts with my family he will divorce me - what should I do to this - Should I boldly shout back at him - he refuses to discuss things though he is well educated - if a problem comes up and I want to talk about he just asks me to leave and I become quiet.

samvaknin · Site Admin Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2316

Please apply to the managers of this community for a case study. The Ask Vaknin forum is not intended for multiple questions.

In the meantime, these may be of help - click on the links:

How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq80.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/4.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq75.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal56.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal68.html

Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse3.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse19.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse20.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21a.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse21b.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse12.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html

Working with the System and with Professionals

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html

Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the
links:

Nothing is Happening at Home

http://gorgelink.org/vaknin/wronghome-en.html

Genetics and Personality Disorders

http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders27.html

The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal43.html

Narcissism at a Glance

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissismglance.html

How Can I Save My Child from the Narcissist or Psychopath?

http://samvak.tripod.com/4.html

Narcissistic Parents

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq5.html

The Narcissist's Dead Parents

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq54.html

Parenting - The Irrational Vocation

http://samvak.tripod.com/parent.html

The Narcissist's Mother

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq64.html

The Prodigy as Narcissistic Injury

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal89.html

Leveraging the Children

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse12.html

Tell Your Children the Truth

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html

The Narcissist and His Family

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq22.html

The Cult of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal79.html

Narcissist, Beware the Children

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal36.html

The Narcissist as Eternal Child

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal92.html

The Inverted Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Intimacy and Abuse

http://samvak.tripod.com/intimacyabuse.html

The Narcissist is Looking for a Family

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal5.html

Adolescent Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/case01.html

Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal22.html

The Delusional Way Out

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal42.html

The Development of the Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq25.html

The Dual Role of the Narcissist's False Self

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq48.html

The Roots of Pedophilia

http://samvak.tripod.com/pedophilia.html

The Butterflies are Laughing

http://gorgelink.org/vaknin/butterflies-en.html

Janusz Courts Dina

http://gorgelink.org/vaknin/janus-en.html

Take care.

Sam