Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Trinity · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 97

FRUSTRATING!!!!!! I've got to say that from the get go, my lawyer pounded "COUNSELLING, DOCTORS, 3rd party NOTES" into my head..... The XNH and his N-lawyer ALWAYS stayed FAR away from these people, like the devil and holy water..... I realized that the more that my daughter voiced to the counselor, doctors, school teachers, the MORE the XNH and his lawyer backed down.

When the XNH was asked by my daughters counselor to attend sessions, he would not show up.... because he knew that the counselor was going to hit on things HE needed to change....and you know N's THEY DON'T NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING, THEY ARE PERFECT.....BLAH!

DO go to the victim services and womens shelter....there is no reason to actually let them know what you plan on doing...just do it. Do not give them the opportunity to scoff or think of a plan to stop you or even contact these people themselves.... Allow the services/shelter to form their own opinion before the lawyer can insert their own into the mix.

dagna · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 493

My state is one that now looks at joint physical custody as something that only works in ideal circumstances. They are gung ho on joint legal custody though, meaning that both parents are supposed to make major decisions together.

In my case it is a great arrangement because my EX is an amazing father when in comes to theory. He couldn't translate the theory into practice to save his life though. This way I get to ask him what he thinks about certain parenting decisions and he can come up with better answers than I ever would have. But it has to be up to me to follow through.

And of course, since I have physical custody, I get to decide whether to take his advice or not. So in those cases where he puts me in a total bind (llke we should not allow computer games-- great idea in theory, but then he refuses to do anything with the kids, and refuses to do any housework and refuses to make any of the income, and I find it pretty much impossible to do EVERYTHING without the assistance of a bit of electronic babysitting time).

But my ex didn't ask for custody-- he is way too busy and important to bother with having children. I am starting to realize what a blessing this is.

Plantermom · Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Posts: 3

I just wanted to say that in the case of your child being away and him not giving you the contact information, maybe you could get her a disney phone and it will only allow the phone to call YOU - one number, so he couldn't take it and run it up either. It also has a tracking device which will tell you the vicinity of the phone / child at all times. Just something to think about.

ohgal · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 129

Plantermom~ GREAT IDEA!! How do I go about getting one? Is there a website? A Disney Store maybe??
That is all I have ever asked N for..contact information when D is with him. Usually he will not answer his cell and he refuses to give me his home # saying that it is "private". The courts say that since he gave me one "working" # that is all he needs to do. I disagree and have taught D-4 our home phone number and would love to get her a phone like that.

Plantermom · Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Posts: 3

I believe you can go to a disney store, or even online. There is another phone where young children need only press a 'home' button, but I can't remember it. You should be able to google childrens cell phones or disney cell phone or something like that. Wink

Good luck!

dagna · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 493

wow, that is great. It looks like Verizon and Sprint offer something similar.

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 906

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