Hi Dr Vaknin,
I've recently ended a year long relationship with a man suffering from NPD, OCD and Bipolar Disorder. Early on in our relationship (during our first break up), he shared with me that he was diagnosed with NPD. I never thought much of it and shortly started dating him again soon. Now, a year later I've done A LOT of research and know that he definitely suffers from NPD. I wish I done this sooner.
I have a question. How can a man with NPD tell his Mother, "I love you" whenever they hang up the phone or leave one another? I thought "I love you" was a phrase that makes a person with NPD cringe. When I told this man I loved him, he simply said "why did you have to say that?! No you don't!". Days later, when I brought this up, he told me that if he said I love you back to me, that it would then be over. So, how can he be so close to his Mother and share those words? He his also extremely close with his sister. I'm so confused how I struggled to get close to this man with no avail, yet he is so close to his immediate family?! That's one of the things that attracted me to him.
Can you please shed some light?
Thanks for reading this!