Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

SpiritShell · Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 377 Location: Canada

Well. Needless to say I jumped out ot my skin when I realised it was him. I knew it could be one of two things... he was still being pussy-whipped by her and hoping he could talk me into talking to her (NC for almost 6 weeks), or, she had done away with him and so he felt some other reason to call me. It was the latter (phew) and he wanted to let me know everything I had warned him about was true.. Laughing

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He has paid off a few thousand dollars of her debt. Bought her a truck. Was going to sell his house and business to go move in with her. He has been living with her since Christmas. He goes back home to settle his stuff with the house... then on the phone she says she doesn't want him moving in, after all. She says he has to find his own place in her city. She has been rethinking it since he "got mad at her that one day". So in nterms.. "you don't get mad at nmom for her bullshit, otherwise you are kept on a leash". He was pretty torn up.

I warned him a few weeks before we moved away... she had already gone through an old boyfriend (these two used to be on and off when I was little, after my father died) and used up his money and patience. As much as I never really cared for him either, I didn't especially want to see her break any more hearts. She picked him up when he was very fragile, too (go figure), his girlfriend of a few years left him for his supposed friend (soap opera or what). So he was prime for the taking and breaking. I hadn't even known about Ns when I warned him... I just already knew I'd been through enough. And we were talking in the first place because he was hoping mother and I could patch things up.. hah!

So.. I told him how much more I learned, I told him about all your guys's experiences and how typical it is of her type/condition. Told him he can't "fix her", she will continue to rope him along, spend his money, care nothing for his own needs. If he gets it he gets it.. if not, well, he'll find out the hard (hmm, harder, at this rate) way. But still, I do not want to hear all the drama and don't think I'll be answering his phone calls now that I know this number of his. Not worth risking getting drawn into anything. It was nice to be informed, though.

On the not as positive side he informed me my childhood home is further torn apart for growing pot. My 15 year old brother is expected not to tell his friends about it (HA HA)... but he and his friend broke into one room (there are two rooms locked up) and stole a branch of buds. My mother gives him pot and buys him and his friends booze. This is the same brother I was talking about in the sexuality post. ...I am pondering calling my step-father about this. I have told him about the grow-op before, and so he stopped "loaning" her money.

Well... I just wanted to share all that... I am feeling purty good.
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"Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago."

SpiritShell · Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 377 Location: Canada

*Cleared*
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"Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago."

justmee · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 692

Its nice to feel validation. I hope the exboyfriend has learned and will not go back to her. I am glad that you are helping youre brother, let us know how it turns out...

have a good day,
justmee

SpiritShell · Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 377 Location: Canada

*Cleared*
_________________
"Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago."

oaktree · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 363 Location: Minnesota

spiritshell, stay strong if you can. you and your husband are doing a great great thing. and if you dont feel strong along the way in this process, feel free to cry here. you are our sister.
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Once You Have Been Bitten By A Snake, You Are Very Cautious, Even Of A Coiled Rope.

The Dalai Lama

SpiritShell · Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 377 Location: Canada

Thanks oaktree .. Smile

I will definately turn here for some strength when I need it. I talked to my grandmother today too which was great.

Anyway... I am going to clear those two posts just in case. I apologize for the possibly confusing gaps they'll leave.
_________________
"Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago."