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New here -- I want him to leave me alone!

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

Moderators: WindSong, samvaknin

New here -- I want him to leave me alone!

Postby Onedayatatime » Sun Jun 29, 2014 6:50 pm

I dated and was engaged to a psychopath for 3 years. I couldn't see him for who he really was even after the pathological lying, mental/emotional/physical abuse, cheating, manipulating. I finally got out if the relationship and he showed up at my house -- popping out from behind bushes when I would come outside, asking questions about my life and to give me "hope" that one day we would be together. This was 3 years ago. I found out after breaking it off that I was pregnant. I now have a child with him and he will not leave me alone. He is signing over his rights to another child who is 2 days younger than mine. He is nasty at child exchanges and has blocked me in the open door of my car so I could not leave. I have anxiety attacks. Now he is married (poor girl doesn't know what she's in for) and I do not acknowledge or speak to him unless absolutely necessary (about my child) and only through email. I know everyone says it's not you -- it's him. He's sick. And I believe this. I don't understand though why he is so obsessed with me and my child and why he won't just let is be like he is with his other child and her mother. Will this ever end? What else can I do besides cutting off most communication that will make him realize it's not getting to me for him to think it is no longer "fun" to try to mess with me and have power and control in my life? It's obvious he isn't interested in being a father but I would like to help my child and myself before he gets more visitation time (visits are currently supervised). While it's obvious to me what he is doing, I don't think it's as obvious to the courts because he appears to be charming and charismatic
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Re: New here -- I want him to leave me alone!

Postby samvaknin » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:07 pm

Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:


Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

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