Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothe ... ality.html

In my experience, she told me details of how she was raped even when i told her i didn't want to know. when i got older she refused having the "talk" with me and later said, "do you even know your own body?" she also took "sexy" pictures in MY clothes for my stepdad (sign of competition with me?) and later started throwing my underwear away (Saying they were too "sexy")

anyone else have experiences with their N mothers/fathers and strange sexuality?

sarahgirl6553 wrote:http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/narcissistic-mothers-strange-sexuality.html

In my experience, she told me details of how she was raped even when i told her i didn't want to know. when i got older she refused having the "talk" with me and later said, "do you even know your own body?" she also took "sexy" pictures in MY clothes for my stepdad (sign of competition with me?) and later started throwing my underwear away (Saying they were too "sexy")

anyone else have experiences with their N mothers/fathers and strange sexuality?

edited.

Yes. Both of my parents are perverts. I don't want to get into it at this moment, but yes, yes, yes.

My NM never censored anything from me. I saw sexual R rated movies as far back as I can remember and there was a ton of porn and sex toys in our house.

She also encouraged me to be sexually active from a very young age.

They might refuse to tell their daughters about sex and be over-prudish. They might respond really negatively when the daughter gets her first period - showing disgust maybe, or otherwise making it a bad thing.

My NM was Baptist fundamentalist and the above describes her. She made me feel dirty and ashamed when I had to get my first bra. She made me wear baggy clothes to hide my body from the boys, One time my sister said the word orgasm and when my mom overheard her, insisted that "you shouldn't know what that word means until after you're married." My sister was twenty years old at the time.

OK, I have some time now.

My parents are nasty. Star Kitten mentioned her first period. When I got my first period, and I was in a lot of pain, my mom immediately said, "Now that you're a woman, I expect you to do more around here."

My dad is just a penis with legs and eyes. He would make pornographic collages while my mom was at work. He actually promised me to one of his friends when I was little. As in, when I got a little older, this pervert could have sex with me.

Even when my parents were married, my dad's girlfriends were everywhere. One lived with us with her kid for a while. One came to my school and screamed at me through the fence during recess.

I am just recently coming to terms with the fact that my mom is a pervert, too. She seemed to really enjoy making my brother and I listen to her have sex, loudly.

The more serious stuff is too painful to deal with, but my parents definitely are sick, they never cared about whether I felt safe, they never respected my boundaries. ***holes.

They might refuse to tell their daughters about sex and be over-prudish. They might respond really negatively when the daughter gets her first period - showing disgust maybe, or otherwise making it a bad thing.

Yes! My mother seemed absolutely disgusted when I got my first period at 11 years old. Not long after, she gave me The Talk-which basically consisted of telling me that I was a little whore and when I got pregnant she would take my baby and throw me out on the street.

Both of my parents were "prudish" on the surface, yet my father was sexually inappropriate with me on a few occasions. Absolute hypocrite pieces of garbage.

edited for privacy.

NM slapped my face when I had my first period. I was just about 12.
I was so confused. I asked her what a tampon was and she pulled my arm, fast and hard, and told me to stop speaking such nonsense. My friend told me what to do. I remember having really bad cramps and holding my breath so I wouldn't make a sound...because if she heard me, she would punch my arm and tell me how ashamed she was of me. That if any of her friends heard me, while she was on the phone, she would be so shamed that she could never hold her head up again. WTF?
She censored nothing and was loud when she had sex also.
World of lunacy.

NC for 9 months!!!

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When I was 14, my mother said to me" You've put on weight. Are you on 'the pill'". I thought "What, there's a pill you can take to make you get fatter? Who would buy such a pill?" We had never had any prior conversations about the pill, or sex. She never forwarned me about menstruation, I learned everything from school.
Still, sometime during all of this she and my brother started having sexual relations.
It does my head in.
It does my head in.
It does my head in.

They might refuse to tell their daughters about sex and be over-prudish. They might respond really negatively when the daughter gets her first period - showing disgust maybe, or otherwise making it a bad thing.

This. I asked what a period was (because, I'd heard the term around, and it seemed like all the other kids knew) at 11. My mother got angry, and told me I was "just trying to embarrass [her]". I was alone in the car with her. WTH? Embarrass her to whom?

Not long after, the time came, I was in the mall, and passed out at the sight. I think I just figured it out, but it might be one of those things that's blurry.

Sex is/was "evil", and makes one a "whore", unless married. Even then, sex is only for procreation, according to her. She found porn in my sister's home, about 12 years ago, and she was still talking about it, like a year and a half ago. She had to *look* for it, so I don't think she's got the right to complain.

I was a "slut" for wanting to wear my hair the way my peers did. I was dressed in pant-suits, because my mother wore pant-suits, and I was an extension. I owned exactly 4 pairs of jeans from 7th grade to leaving. I only stayed the same size because of refusing to eat, so that I wouldn't have the fact that I ate my mother's food holding over my head.

Oh, she also screamed at me, once, although I don't remember the circumstances, that, when she was my age, she was prettier than me. So much seemed so irrational, at the time. Well, even now.

Well when I was 13 my EF had to have the sex talk with me because my NM could not do it. I also remember my first time using a tampon when my boyfriend was coming over to go swiming and I could not get it in and my NM laughed at me and told my dad and they joked about it in front of me (while on the toilet trying to get it to work). I remember crying and being so fustrated. It is amazing to me as a mom now that I am horrified by the behavior that went on in my house because I could never let my kids feel that way. I now know parents are supposed to protect and help their kids not embaress them more then they are already.

I'm new here, but wow can I relate.

My NM is one who declares she's not a prude, but then acts like one when it can be used to shame others. At the same time she would (still does) cross boundaries of appropriateness in regard to sex, and particularly her own personal information.

She's 65 now and looks like a rotund granny. In her head she thinks she looks like a hot college girl and any male from age 13 to 113 can't get enough of her. This gets nauseating to hear about and sadder as she gets older. Last year she moved my 93 year old grandfather in with her because he has severe dementia. At night he gets especially confused and sometimes has trouble finding his bed; he will eventually go to sleep wherever he can find a surface to lie down on. If he goes to bed before NM, he will occasionally end up in her bed; by the time she finds him, he is hard to wake and move. NM will go on about how in his dementia he's forgotten she's his daughter and he can't control how sexually attracted he is to her as a woman- yuck. There's nothing in the way he behaves that could be construed as even a little bit sexual, it's all NM's sick fantasy.

My first period (just after my 13th birthday) was a turning point in my life too, though it took me many years to understand why. I was made to feel very ashamed upon getting my period and my mother would not allow me to use pads for some N reason. I was handed a box of tampons and told to figure it out because there was no other option for me. Now as the mom of a DD myself, I can't imagine treating her the way my M treated me.

Glad to be here and I hope to post more soon. Maybe even an intro.

Vickie

Oh Vickie, I'm so glad you brought that up.
My NM did the same thing - and I was just thinking about it a couple of hours ago.
She would not let me use pads and insisted I use tampons.
Told me nothing about what was going on.

Her NH (my step-dad) had Alzheimers in his last days, and when I stayed there the way she treated him was awful. She would hit him and scream at him because he disturbed her sleep. He wasn't my favourite person exactly, as they were 2 Ns together, but still, hearing it going on was very sad.

Now at almost 70 she is a jelly bag of sag and still thinks she is the Bee's Knees.

It fascinates me how similar NMs are - almost like what they call their "personality" is actually an NM script they all improvise around.

wendyhouse wrote:It fascinates me how similar NMs are - almost like what they call their "personality" is actually an NM script they all improvise around.

It is pretty amazing. I have marveled at how many similar stories there are on this forum. It is not only validating, but it also kind of normalizes things for me...it helps to know just how boringly predictable narcissists are!

My NM thinks she's the hottest thing around too. Maybe that's part of the reason why some NMs never taught their daughters how to dress, put on make-up style hair, etc. They could not handle us looking good, much less better than them!

removing stories that are very specific to keep privacy.

My NM is one who declares she's not a prude, but then acts like one when it can be used to shame others. At the same time she would (still does) cross boundaries of appropriateness in regard to sex, and particularly her own personal information.

I thought I wrote this for a second.. ditto, ditto, ditto

NM (and I use this term loosely; she was no mother, she was an incubator; the NI), is in her 80's. Upon meeting anyone of the opposite sex, from a teen boy to an old man...it's as if a wave washes over her and she begins to walk and talk like she is Queen of Sheba. She flutters her eyes and giggles and acts as if she is in her 20's, not her 80's!
It is very, very disturbing.

or a When I was 14, my mother said to me" You've put on weight. Are you on 'the pill'". I thought "What, there's a pill you can take to make you get fatter? Who would buy such a pill?" We had never had any prior conversations about the pill, or sex. She never forwarned me about menstruation...

NM said something very similar to me. Then, she told me that if I wanted a baby, all I had to do was to take a certain pill and I'd become pregnant. The more questions I asked, the more outrageous her answers were. I was always so confused. Nothing seemed logical, but who could I go to? Who could I get clarification from? Who could I share with?

Mind-f__k games of a monster.
Unfathomable that I was birthed by this monster.

Put them all in a mirrored cell.

C.

edited.

edited for privacy.

username3 wrote:Wendyhouse-Your post reminded me that my NM didn't want me to use tampons because she was worried it would wound the "area" (I'm not sure how graphic we can be here) and she said our religous group may need me to hang a bloody sheet outside on my wedding night for proof I had been a virgin. How sick is that!! There is a st

Hi Username3 - well in my post I WAS going to mention it was to do with virginity - and lack thereof. Like you say, the detail may not be postable here. Whichever way our NMs swung it, pads or tampons, ultimately it was about their ownership of our virginity, not about them giving us all the choices and making our own decision.

Again, I am really glad I found this group. It is frightening, and reassuring at the same time, how similar these "mothers" are.

My mother never wore much make-up (what she did, she didn't wear well), she's never been very good at dressing, and wears her hair like it's 1865. Since I've figured out her N, I've wondered what she sees when she looks in the mirror.

I have never felt good about how I look physically and figure (and hope) I'm probably not as bad as I imagine. I assume body image problems are pretty common in daughters of Ns.

Username3, my mother could be physically abusive and that got much worse when I was a teenager- not so much at puberty, but escalating from there. I don't know for sure, and can only speak for myself, but I've always felt it had something to do with my understanding (if only on a subconscious level) that the only true emotion to be gotten from her was rage. I think on some level I liked to provoke her rage because it was the only time I had a genuine relationship with her. I'm not even sure if that makes sense.

Mom is coming to visit tomorrow, along with grandpa- I am so not looking forward to it.

I am so happy I found this forum though. Thank you for making me feel welcome.

My NM never talked to me about getting my period or what to do when it came...So, when I got mine at age 12, I was so freaked out I thought I was bleeding to death!!

As far as perverts go...Well, my NM molested me at age 14 which is one of the reasons I left living with her...she was drunk but whatever...I think she knew who I was...I had to take her hands off me 3 or 4 times! Being her daughter, I was in complete shock! I realized I had no trust in her left after that....besides that, she was starting to smoke crack so she was well, the moodiest N that you can imagine!!
My NM's friend has also told me that my NM and NM's ex-con boyfriend have brought home a woman that they met at a bar! This happened about 8 years ago! Sometimes I think my NM might be a closet bi-sexual...