Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

My N has not taken to exposure and complete rejection very well. I want nothing to do with him.

But he has still being making contact with me. Ringing and hanging up, just to hear my voice. I know how very special I am (ha ha ha), but I would like to be a little less special to him.

We dont have kids together, so there is no need for contact. I also told him that when I end a relationship it is over for good, I dont maintain contact with an ex, there is no need. I like complete closure, door locked, key thrown away.

Has any one else had an N who wont let go? Is it a common trait?

He would also threaten suicide if I was non complient or raised issues of our relationship that I was not happy with or if I ignored him. To the extent that he contacted a suidicide phone line and had police out looking for him. No he hasnt commited suicidie, he is still around, has been threatening to do this for 15 years according to the wife.

Is this common with in the N people?

sallyishere · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 833

When I went NC, my ex N actually phoned the police! He told them that a man was in my house with a gun about to kill himself. He told the police the man;s name was...... which is his fav name!

Anything to get attention.
No supply=No attention=they move on.

Sally
_________________
Sally

Just when I thought my life was over, it started again.

natman2 · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 91

Shortly after our marriage and just after a big fight, I went for a 3 hour drive just to get away and calm down. She was worried I had left her and called me on my cell phone and said that if I didn't come home she was going to commit suicide.

She has denied saying that ever since.

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

He has denied it to, even though he was locked in a mental health care facility for 5 days.

I am shocked that they did not investigate fully his behaviour.

He has also been under the care of a clinically pshy for 10 months due to a work place injury (fake injury he is after some easy $$) and he has never cottoned on to it either?

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

Ns will use suicide threats to suck you back in, but they RARELY go to the extreme of actually depriving the world of their presence. They are far too special and have too many lives to destroy.

It's a tactic they use. Mine used a veiled threat when I went NC which is what made me break NC.....but when I called him, he was fine (and I went directly back to NC). I now know that what they say is true. Ns RARELY commit suicide.....borderline personality disordered people will.

Ns love melodrama.....what's more melodramtic than that. They do what they have to do to suck us back in. God, death, AA, gifts, children, illness, crying, oh-by-the-ways, etc.

Don't answer your phone unless you know who's calling. Don't give him the satisfaction of hearing your voice. NC means NC. Get caller ID.

Cool

Lynnezer
_________________
Ns are equal opportunity offenders. Shampoo, rinse, repeat. Wink

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

Sally

What did the police do?? Was he charged with nuisance or anything like that?

I can honetly say that with everything the police have put me through I would never report another crime committed against me.

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

Ah yes...I have heard nearly all of them. There is also a one upmanship that goes on, I have also noticed they take others geniune tramatic, painful stories and make them their own.

His father died...Nope rang him still alive and kickin
My daughter is diagnosed with ADD, his son has Aspegars...Nope, son is affected by dysfunctional family
Wife threatened to kill kids...nope playing in the back yard.
Religious family...caused him so much trauma
I was assault as a teen, he as sodimised by relative...doubt it

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

Fraggle,

Do you have caller ID????

Cool

Lynnezer
_________________
Ns are equal opportunity offenders. Shampoo, rinse, repeat. Wink

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

for home - I changed my home number and mobile number within 2 months of him moving out, they are all unlisted numbers and only people I could trust completely where given these numbers. No more hangups to home.

Email addresses changed.

Unfortunately I was answering the phones at work, no caller Id, I had no option. He was contacting my boss making up all sorts of crap. Am now unemployed so can not be contacted by N there.

All possible contact points taken care of, except for my physical location.

Over the past 14 months I have been tempted to contact him, to tell him "to leave me alone, I know what you are doing" but I have NOT!

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

At this point I am confident that he can not phone or email me. Physical contact is my concern.

Unfortunately, here in Australia the caller can block their number, so even with calle Id, it may come up as private number.

Lynnezer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 534

fraggle_1972 · Joined: 03 Mar 2007 Posts: 570

Caller ID wouldnt work, he changes his phone number regular.

I know he goes onto the internet datesite, chat sites, etc. He changes his user name, email address, etc regularly too.

changing his identity

I meet him through a neighbour (not talking to her anymore). this site is my first internet/chat experience.

Dora_F · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 26

Hi Fraggle,

First I'd like to say welcome to the board. There is a really nice bunch of people here to support you.
I have had the same experience dealing with the police. My ex had a history of violence when intoxicated. One day he left having a tantrum because I was talking to a co-worker (male) on the phone. He said he wasn't going to put up with me talking to men?? I told him to get over it, half the people I worked with were men. He took off and I started suspecting that he was drinking so I had the locks changed on my house. And it was my house, not his, although by that point he did live with me. I had told him before he moved in the first sign of him drinking, he was out.
He showed up late that night and tried to get in. He was totally pissed drunk. Took him five minutes to realize that the key didn't fit in the lock. Then he kicked the door down and ran up to my room and started arguing with me. I just stood totally still. He was so drunk, he was disoriented. (Probably the combination of alcohol & medication) He sat down on the bed and its like he forgot where he was and what was going on. I ran out and called the police from a neighbours. He walked out past the police cars and walked away.
Then they gave me a blast for locking him out!! When I tried to explain to the officer that he hadn't drank for over a couple of years and I changed the lock because I figured he was drinking (and he was) and that he became violent with alcohol, he turned it around on me. He said "oh, he was sober...why did he drink, what did you do pick a fight with him"?
I won't get into the other experiences I've had with the police, but it was all pretty disillusioning. I am sure there are lots of good police officers out there, I just wasn't getting them!!!!
Sorry to hear about the reminder he left you...the STD. Hopefully your body fights it off permanently. I was lucky. Tested negative for everything.
Don't bother trying to talk to him to set boundaries. NC is the only thing that works.

Dora

sallyishere · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 833

I didnt mention it to anyone that knew him. I didnt want it to get back to him that i was pissed right off. I knew i had to maintain nc and he was testing me again.
They will do anything to get attention and i refused and still refuse to give him supply.

Sally