Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

sorrow · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Stavanger,Norway

I have forgiven my sister hundred of times and yesterday I told her I´ve got enough and that I can´t take it anymore.
I wonder what is going on in her head when she can be so cruel to me.
Someone inside this board told me many months ago that the best way is to stay away from people like this even it is family. And I think I have made that choice now.

It takes to long to say all the cruel things she does to me,but here´s a list:

She lies with a "throwed-out-comment" about me if I open my mouth to try to be a part of a conversation(specially in town and allways when men around her)
she blames me for having a better look than her and that all men likes me,so I get a victim if I open my mouth to what she call"all her men" or also men she have never met before. She is rolling with her eyes behind my back with cruelty. Whe I see it she press her mouth together like I was hopeless.
She asked me yesterday in town after hurting me if I could get bitchy too,that she likes to provoke people and I should do the same,she said it was fun. I mean it´s not fun. She hurts me a lot of times,specially after everytime I have lended her money. She blames me in public that I have to cut out and don´t make any out of it and that there´s allways something wrong with me. (Because I hurt when she´s cruel)

One time she spitted me in the face with the mouth full of alcohol. That time it was the same,I had just answered a man she talked too. I runned home and cryed for 15 minutes. The day after she said it was sisterlove!

I never flirt with "her men",she say it is her mental illness that makes her being cruel to me. But I think she knows what she doing.She say she is jalous and think that all men wants me when they see me after they have talked to her.
But when she knows I like a man,she promise not to flirt with him,when I don´t see it she does and then she say it was just for fun. And private things I have told her she use against me and tell other people.

Why does my sister hate me so much? I have come to the point that I can´t take it anymore,I will not accept being a victim around her. I can´t speak,always have to wonder what´s gonna happend,please tell me someone,what is wrong with her?

ps.she is bad to others too,but the men thing is only me. And she allways defend men that have been cruel to me and humiliating me in front of them instead of supporting me. Later it´s always oh,sorry.

What on earth shall I do,I wont take this anymore. She is my only family member I have left in contact. But I get sick inside. I have enough pain than to take from her too.

Sorrow

dreams · Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 167

Hi Sorrow,
I just joined as a new member and posted just today. I am sorry that your sister is so cruel to you. I think we are unfortunate to get such bad seeds as these sisters. I am stumped as to what to do about my own sister except have no contact. Unfortunately I look like to my other siblings like I am the one breaking up the family. They do not like this and she is very good at making herself look like the victim when she is the cruel one to me. Read my post and you will learn that you are not alone.
Hugs,
Dreams

oaktree · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 362 Location: Minnesota

sorrow, believe me, you are not alone. take a look at the picture by my post here. she was and is cruella the queen-a master manipulator/bully/narcissist/devil woman. keep writing when you need to. if you let it all out it will be better. promise. oak
_________________
Once You Have Been Bitten By A Snake, You Are Very Cautious, Even Of A Coiled Rope.

The Dalai Lama

sorrow · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Stavanger,Norway

Thanks for responding to my post,I´m sorry to hear you two are going through this too,I will for sure read your post. I feel sad to come to the reality that she really "is" cruel to me and that she may do it with purpose. I mean, I know she have been cruel,but I have never thought about it this way before,that she can be a P or something. It makes it all so much clearer.

I believe she knows what she´s doing. The doctor have told her that she have a bit schizophrenia,but that it is so little that it´s nothing nearly. So I guess that her cruelty to me is not the schizophrenia,because I know how this desease is,my mother had it and I´ve read enough to know that what my sister do reminds me more of being cruel like a P would be.

My biggest problem is that I get bad conscience not talking to her,but I don´t want to be a victim for her cruelty again and again. I feel guilty for feeling guilty. When I remember again now,she said that my brother didn´t think I cared about him.That was the reason he killed himself,I was only 13 years old. I think now it was her P traits or?

I will as said read your post and I´ll come back to you,thanks again both of you for respond to me.

sorrow

sorrow · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Stavanger,Norway

Hi Dreams,

I was frightened by reading you post, how your sister treated you when you were young,how horrible! I´m so sorry.

I don´t remember so much from my childhood,only that I´ve been sitting most of my time alone. I had a mother who was ill,as I told, and in hospital from I was about 4 years old,my father was abusive,he never gave any love or showed that he cared,now I feel released about it because he makes me sick. It sounds bad of me to say I´m glad about it,but I wouldn´t have his touch when I think about it now,don´t know why,I just get sick of the thought,even today even there is no contact.

Just now my sister called,she heard on my voice I wasn´t happy about her calling,in the end she said: I guess it´s to early for you to go out in the sun,she said arrogant. I responded yes,it´s to early,you know it´s evening now. Then she hang up the phone. I guess she got pissed of.

I guess she wont change. And that she said this to provoke me again. And she saw that she couldn´t or something. I´m sitting left with anxious.

I just wanted to say really that this is horrible,that we have to have it like this with our siblings. I hope I can stay in contact with you here on the board,I would really appreciate it.

Sorrow

dreams · Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 167

sorrow,
You are right. It is so horrible to be treated as we have been treated. Your story sounds similar as my mother was ill and my father abusive. My sister was adored by our father and I was abused emotionally and verbally by him and N/P sister was "rewarded" for being his sidekick in abusing me.

My parents are both deceased. If I did NOT have those older siblings to look to ME to make things harmonious in our family whereby the have no clue that they should look to N/P sister, I would be golden because then there would be no pressure on me to do other than what I NEED TO DO which is continue to act as if I have NO sister.

This is what I have to work out still. More about NOT looking like the bad guy while keeping my relationship with the other siblings. It might prove to be an difficult if not impossible feat.
((((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you,
Dreams

sorrow · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Stavanger,Norway

alamobelle3 · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 615 Location: San antonio Texas

Doesnt really matter what is wrong with her - something is and she is

treating you horribly . What can you do ? Only two options

A) keep going back for more - abusers dont stop abusing.

b) go no contact and be rid of her ill treatment

I recommend B .......... I did it 10 months ago with my Nbrother
and its all okay. I wish he was my loving brother but he isnt
but he will never hurt me ever again
_________________
illegitimis non carborundum

Ginger Rodgers matched Fred Astaire step for step only she did it backwards and in high heels !

sorrow · Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 146 Location: Stavanger,Norway