Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

Hello every one!!
This is an update to all of you who were following and helping me with MG (married guy) situation at work. Since I have gotten so relaxed about it, I do not want to make the impression that I have gone back to my old ways and so comfortable for doing so.

The MG is still there. He is frustrated about the fact that I moved my cube which gives him a less view of me. That's okay, that's his deal. I feel more and more stronger in my new cube and I am getting used to it. Looks like it is going to work for me, since it is so much quieter. This was a great move for me, to prove to myself that change does not mean end of something, change means something different. I am stronger and more confident with my work, I notice.

MG is there. It is like we both established new boundaries for both of us and we know what we can have or not have. OR we know what we can say or not say. This is all about me drawing better boundaries with him, so he does not use me for whatever insecurities or problems he is having. Boundaries are drawn without being mean and without denying any facts. But also, I had to monitor my own privet agenda and find out what do I get out of the unhealthy attachment. What purpose does this serve? And I think I have it. It is my attachment to unavailable.
I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean and I had to push it one final time to make it out of the deep cold ocean, and I did that. I recognize the moment and I took myself out of it. I knew once I did that I can declare myself a winner. I got the lesson life have been keep repeating for me. What other people are going trough (including my father where it all started from) has nothing to do with me. I hope all these abstract peaces of thoughts are painting some kind of a picture. lol

Okay, bottom line, I detached myself from the situation and I am no longer affected by it. I did it, I learned to do what's best for me, and did it in a healthy way. I think that's where I am.

Anyway, Thanks for reading. Don't have to say anything, unless you want to, I just needed to keep you updates.
PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing

justmee · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 692

You do sound so much stronger. I am so glad that you drew boundries with mg. I smiled at youre post.....keep us updated...

Hope you had a wonderful day,
justmee

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

Thank you justmee, I don't know why, but I always like to call you funny lady. Smile

You know because you laugh at things and it's so cool.
Did you find your cat? I am sorry if you already posted about this, I do not keep up reading all of them. Sad

Anyway, hope you had a good weekend.
hugs, PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing

justmee · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 692

Lol, thats okay, I still think of you as a southern Lady.... Very Happy

No, I havent found him yet. I did look in the pound and put a ad in the paper with a hundred dollar reward. Its been well over a week, I finally quit crying. Silly, I know but he was with me thru everything, even when I was a cranky, mean person...
Honestly, he meant more to me then my family...oops...egads, thats kinda mean huh??

Just a rambling, lol
justmee

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

No, that's not mean, the truth must be told. Smile

I am sorry about your cat. Hope he will be found. (hugs)
Southern Lady. Smile

That's okay, as long as I am in US. Smile

As say this because I came from different culture(armenian) and I have come a long way and I want it to stay that way. Smile

PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing

Chrissie712 · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Posts: 45

Wow PL!!! That is in fact a huuuuuuge step you took in such short time. You sound so different, and strong, like Justmee already said.
I admire you.... Very Happy

Chrissie

P.S. Justmee, I'm sorry about your cat
_________________
"We are destroyed, not by the rebels, not by the nazis. We are actually destroyed, very often, by conformity. I think it is better to go down failing, than to conform" - John le Carré

wlw35 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 367

Awesome work, we can all learn from this... you are stronger and smarter each day, all it took was a different perspective, a new game plan, he's probably still trying to figure it out, then, who really cares? Big step and thanks for sharing it. WAY TO GO, PL --WLW

Justmee, still holding out hope for your cat, take care, WLW

Pretty_Lady · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 554

Yes yes yes! Thank you guys. Smile

I think I am doing well and I am proud of me too. Smile

We women do not realize how much in control we are of our own destiny.
Hugs every one, justmee, Chrissie and wlw. Smile

Talk soon.
PL
_________________
The way out is through the door you came in.
R.D. Laing