Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

femfree · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 654

(Thanks to member Jomo for submitting this)

I am bi-polar, which means that sometimes I am psychologically paralized and can barely get out of bed, but other times I think am Ted Nugena and can't stop talking about myself or marveling at how I am the most brilliant motherf---r on the planet.

I have intense, volatile relationships with women, and then I ruin them. I will be drawn to you immediately - and you, unconsciously excited by the possibility that I could be as passionate about you as I am about myself, wll become dangerously infatuated wtih me in turn. We will achieve an immediate connection that seems to hold the promise of long-term mutual fulfillment. The sex will be amazing, in part because of its obsessive quality, but also because you will get to explore some of your fun perversions, since someone as fucked up as I am couldn't possibly be judgmental of you.

This will go on, for I don't know, several months. Slowly but surely, feelings of acrimony wll develop, generating arguments of increasing magnitude and frequency. At some point, I will become fixated on one of your character flaws and decide that you are not worthy of me. However -- and this is the interesting part -- I will be too scared and ambivalent to end the relationship definitively. What follows is a tortuous period of escalating venom and poorly-expressed hostility, punctuated by momentary reclamations of our mutual attraction.

Despite my forewarnings, you will marvel at the dualism of my character; you will be flabbergasted by my narcissism, even as you are touched by my disarming vulnerability; you will rue my unconscionable behavior and penchant for elaborate self-justification while nonetheless admiring the sublety of my wit; you will try in vain to reconcile my occasional charisma with my deep antisocial tendencies. You will lament the fact that I am nearly as brilliant and charming as I think I am, because otherwise it would be easier to drop me.

Even if this lasts for only a matter of months, it will feel like years. Eventually, you will reach the verge of madness and break up with me, nearly destroying yourself in the process. Take heart: this will hurt me even more than it hurts you; so I will do everything in my power to make you feel terrible about yourself. In the end, however, neither of us will be quite sure whether my pain comes from a genuine affection for you or a giant bruised ego.

Non-smokers only please.
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Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer;
nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
Fyodor Dostoevsky