Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Kathryann · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 72

I just had to vent a little. Since I found out that my ex-P husband tried contacting me, I have just had this urge to call him and find out why, duh, I know why, it was one time January 3, it is now February 28th. I just am having the hardest time making adjustments to this new way of living. I am pretty much friendless because I've tried to become very select in whom I'm hanging out with. I realize that my closest friend (so I thought) will totally and completely dump me as soon as she meets a man, I wasn't even like that with the P. I kept in contact with my friends, and I've always tried to be there for them, but it is not true in the reverse. I have two friends who I feel close to, both 24 year relationships. Otherwise, the acquaintances I have made just aren't getting it. Most people are with mates, and I'm just trying to get by day by day. I really feel sometimes like I'm going to die of a broken heart, really. I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do and trying to get on with my life, but it's hard to dig out of this hole I've gotten into. I just want to stay at home and isolate. It's been over 3 months of NC, and it's really the hardest thing I've ever done. At least I had SOMEONE when I had him, even though it was not very good. Anyway, please tell me not to pick up the phone, because the next time the results may not be as good as they are this time. I don't want to keep getting hurt.

Kathy

sag07 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 537 Location: Elgin, IL

Kathy

Not sure of the history between you and your xN. But if you are fighting yourself from calling this person then I would say...DON'T call! You need to listen to that small voice inside you and then act on that.
As for being lonely, I know how you feel, not a night goes by when I go to bed by myself that I don’t feel that! What’s that old saying? “good things come to people who wait for it”. Rushing into a relationship because you are alone but not be the best option for you now. Taking time to learn about what happen in this relationship and about yourself is how this time can be spend in your best interest.... Just my 2 cents..

Sag

lemondroppr · Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 1422

Kathy:

Maybe, in times like now, write down or think about the reason's you're NOT with him. Remember them? Remember the pain? The anger? The humiliation? The frustration? The giving up of yourself? Remember caving in and what that got you?

Do you really miss that?

ocean · Joined: 12 Feb 2007 Posts: 320

Dear Kath

I so can relate, my ridiculous XP, found a way to comfort me,just by listening to all my unloading, little did i know it was to gather info, to later torture me with.

Funny how our world looks when you feel alone, but the truth is, 52 % of american women are single, so you are notalone,

Wish i could send you a huge hug, and tell you days will get brighter, in this dark tunnel, seems like forever. And the loneliness I found comes in waves, like some form of attack, like an addiction to call them, fight it with all you are worth,,

I also found going to some support group good, a grieving group, helps, an addictions group helps, volunteering help, try everything, if you can see where your interest lies,

Discovering for myself, how good it felt to learn a need art form, take a class, run,,exersice is actually a wonderful way to feel better.
And of course write, write it out, have fires to burn his memories,

I wish you luck on this journey
Also when i started dating, it frightened me just how quickly I could discern lies, manipulations and people I would not want in my life, life can be so peaceful without soul draining emotional rollercoasters. I wonder if we get addicted to the roller coaster.

As for him having hepatitis C,,,,thank God you are not with this person, its such a horrid disease
Blessings ocean