Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

wastedyouth · Joined: 09 Apr 2007 Posts: 13

My girlfriend just got mad at me. She stormed off and slammed a door. I think its over something silly, and I don't really think I did anything wrong, and she's overreacting and made a mistake.

She's a good person. She loves me, she cares about me, and this event is completely out of the ordinary and things like this never happen. I'm sure everything will be fine later.

The weirdness lies in me though. After spending the last five years with a *P* where every day life was full of chaos and hurtful irrational things, I'm a bit dumbfounded on how to handle and react in a normal healthy relationship.

I'm not mad at my SO for her reaction. Nobody is perfect, and good people make mistakes. Is my reaction to this not enough? I seem to have the attitude now to do my best to avoid being drawn into any conflict at all and let it blow over. There's also a part of my thats easily hurt and sensitive. Its one tiny unimportant event, but there's a part of me that jumps into *P* defense mode at something slight.

Its a great relationship over all and I recognize this, but why does my brain have to interpret and react to it like its a *P* moment from the past?

Its as if now I see a little *P* in everybody, and it seems to be a hard habit to break.

Part of me wishes she'd come to the realization she made a mistake and apologize to me. Part of me wonders if I'm a bad guy for not just taking care of it myself and explaining how I feel so we don't have to both feel bad anymore. Part of me wonders if doing that is giving in to codependant behaviors I had in the past. Should I be all peace and zen or is it okay for me to get angry and stand up for myself?

I don't know what to do anymore. If I'm the nice guy I'm giving in to something, if not I'm cold and heartless.

Does being with a *P* for so long leave you with a little *N* in you?

Either way, everything will be fine. For once, a conflict isn't the end all be all of the world. I just don't know where to draw the line of protecting myself and overprotecting.

She's a really good person, and its not really fair that for a split second I see her as a *P* when she isn't, or get reminded of my ex and all those feelings when its really nothing comparable. But I kinda do...

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1864

hi there and welcome
so sorry you are experiencing all this.

I don't know if you still post here, but I will lock this thread and remove this post eventually, hopefully you will read my response here and take your story to the main forum, this forum is for healing and recovery links only.

Thankyou.
Matilda
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"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright