Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

WindSong · Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:10 am Post subject:

good question and yes, it was some scary stuff the XNP wrote her.

Stacie honey, ARE YOU OK? Let us know you alright? did you get the locks changed? ((((((((((Stacie))))))))))))

hugs to you too, skittish.....
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skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

i just hope that she's alright...thanks for the (hugs) windsong and right back at you...hugs, kitten

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello girls,

Thankyou for the hugs Smile

Im doing well, I havent had any more weird goings on , and everything here is good.

There has been no open back door or gates. and my doors are all secured.

Im just keeping my eyes and ears open at the moment, Im not underestimating the xP but Im not going to disrupt my son by being stressed out all the time either

I dont feel stressed at all anymore. I feel relaxed and happy.

Just hope he stays away

((((To all)))))

God Bless

Stacie xx

WindSong · Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 11:31 pm Post subject:

Glad to give the hugs Kitten. They are always available if you need any! Just let me know.

Stacie,
Glad you are doing ok Sweetheart. You keep hanging in there and hanging on. Life will just keep getting better and better and one day you'll realize that you are the happiest you have ever been. I myself can't get over how much I love my life now. And every day now, I welcome instead of dreading! You're going to get there too!

Big hugs to both you guys!
Windy
_________________

I Love Little Steven And That Guy He Sometimes Plays With.
Confused and Dazed Administrator. Email me if you have any questions:
windsongsharmony@gmail.com

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

Dear Stacie,

Keep up the good work, and be sure to not "let your guard down"--and by that I don't mean "be paranoid"--NOT paranoid, just watchful---you are an amazing survivor! Peace
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.

skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

what a relief that you're alright stacie...good to see you and much love to you and windsong, ((hugs)), kitten

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello Ladies.

Thankyou for the well wishes and hugs Smile

right back at ya (((hug)))

Hope everyone is ok and doing well, I have been on the board and had a butchers (look) at how everyone is doing.

Just an update really nothing major, had some more memories surface last couple of days, more like Red Flag memories to be honest.

Just wanted to share them as I have noone else to ramble on to about all this and well its helpful to type it all out and get it off my chest.

A few things that came to mind

1) Xp used to play violent games , one of them being "Postal" an old game where you are a criminal and you have to see how many people you can kill and shoot in a suberb of friendly people. Also has angles so you can kill and shoot the heads and bodies.

Another game was old war games , where you are german or english and you have to bomb and kill the enemy , me? I prefer Mario Brothers or tomb raider and crash bandicoot lol

2) Films such as "Silent Hill" (This is the film he made me watch on the couch with him, him cuddling me while i was crying because he was leaving me, he stayed a few days after this, but during this film he was all cuddly and nice---Yes girls knowing he was leaving me and what it did to me while i hyperventilated next to him in pain didnt bother him)

Other films such as "Audition" see here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235198/ A japenese film about a woman who meets a man only to become jealous because he tells his son he loves him on the phone, and then decapitates his foot with wire, and makes him eat her vomit and tortures him, yeah he made me sit through that shit too
something I want to forget.

3) Psychology book he never left anywhere without, special chapter he gave me to read , told me to understand was "Milgram Experiment" HERE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

The Milgram experiment was a seminal series of social psychology experiments conducted by Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram, which measured the willingness of study participants to obey an authority figure who instructed them to perform acts that conflicted with their personal conscience such as electrocuting another human on their command.

The article goes on to say that some of the "Teachers" kept on shocking the learners even when they could here them screaming in (Fake) Agony.

This was his most favourite subject in psychology. He is a big fan of NLP too (which is basically used to control and manipulate people by mirroring them and using skills such as learning to have rapport with people etc)

and another subject he said he just loved was "Compliance - the door in the face effect" which is in a nutshell:

"As the name implies, this involves completely rejecting an initial request, but often with the result that a later demand will be accepted.

EG: A technique in which the influencer makes an initial request so large that it will be rejected, and follows it with a smaller request that looks like a concession, making it more likely that the other person will concede in turn

I am sure he used it on me , the NLP and the psychology door in the face effect , I asked him if he had, and he always smiled and said "im not telling you"

5) He led me to believe during our relationship that he might have had sex with me while I was sleeping, I asked him several times and he would smile and not say a word, or he would say "No" then laugh, never did get an honest answer out of him on this.

6) the weird joke gags he put in my cigarettes and drinks.

7: Used to stay up ALL night, even till 4am 5am , and would go to work, weird how he could lose so much sleep and feel ok, also complained all the time of back and neck pain , id sit for hours at a time rubbing his neck and back and the pain never did get better even with painkillers.

8: Used to talk to me about how you can render people unconcious by pressing the pressure points on their foreheads, or how you can kill a man in seconds by slicing his kidneys really fast. ( I shudder when i remember things such as this, cant believe i shared a home with this unstable animal)

9) Used to buy me presents I didnt want, or knew I wouldnt like, Always asked me what I wanted then got me something different.

10) Felt like his mom, always running around after him day and night, while he sat in his room on the computer 24/7 , no interaction with my family, child, nothing.

11) When on the phone to his boss, family etc, I had to keep quiet and leave the room and my child wasnt allowed to make any noise. Very secretive.

12) Filmed his first GF without her knowledge having sex, also wrote contracts up so any girls who slept with him would have to sign the form to consent to it. Also told me he had sex at the age of 5 with a girl he lived near. Said it was harmless "Playing" and "didnt know what it was"

13) the shooting of animals with his gun, he found that funny, I however did not

14) Shotgun aimed at my face in a photo, some of you have seen that picture

15) Oh and this one, the worst of them all i think......... When I first met his folks, they went to town and he wanted to have sex, we were in his bedroom and that to me was fine but NO he wanted to do it in his parents bedroom ON their bed.

To which I adamantly refused to do, But in the end he got his own way and did it right in front of the window where neighbours could see, and on their bed. I felt so uncomfortable as this was the first time meeting his folks, and he left the mess he made on the bed and didnt even wipe it up! (Sorry to be so graphic but this is what hes like)

I was disgusted, its just rude and ugh

16) Oh he found some porn in his mothers top drawer (not of his mom doing anything just general porn) and said he jerked off to it knowing his parents had watched it and done things to that film. then said he found his mothers sex toys and rummaged through those too joking about it

17) Had handcuffs and assorted swords and knives in his room (this was when I first met him)

18: his mother always told him she could see through his computer from the other side of it, he was always paranoid about this and even asked me if I could see through 3 inches of plastic , Yes Andy let me just go get my xray goggles on .......

Yes his mother was manipulative, said if he didnt stop seeing me she would pack her bags and leave the home, she even went as far as doing this but then came back when she saw it didnt work. I once told her "you cant manipulate your son" she said "OH yes I can and I will"

19) Always asking me if I had AIDS, ........I dont have AIDS, but this is his mentality , always worried he would catch it by shaking hands with someone or being breathed on. Why yes Andy of course I have it, remember that time when that man rubbed his face all over my hands?......Can anyone say *NUTBAR*!!!!

20) Ever heard of Ogrish, well this was a favourite site of his, oh and rotten.com, but Ogrish is worse, trust me. Beheadings, and his favorite of all time is "Girls tied up with their mouths stitched up with blood coming out" Not sure if he went there when I was around, he did a few times, and laughed at all the torture pictures of poor girls, he asked me to come and look what he was seeing but as soon as i saw it i walked away and did something else, as its pure and utter filth

21) Oh yes the burning in the yard he did, always lighting fires and blowing things up whilst laughing. surprised i have any grass left.

22) Ahh yes how can i forget, standing over me while i was crying just staring at me and then walking out and telling me he wont come home until ive calmed down.

23) calling me crazy, telling me i need help, hah , hypocrisy at its worst.

24) Workaholic, on the computer 24/7 , wouldnt stop until he has finished his work and it was PERFECT , if it wasnt perfect, he would not stop working until it was.

25) Last one..... said he was going to come over and see me when we first started going out. I phoned during the whole of the next day wondering where he was. Finally his mother told me he had gone on holiday with his grandparents. Well thanks for telling me! , so i phone him and ask him why he didnt tell me , his reply "I was rushed out of my room as it was a surprise and i didnt have time to call you or email you"

Yeah right............

Not sure why all this popped into my head, I dont like reflecting on our relationship, it brings all kinds of bad memories back .

Thanks for listening Ladies. Nice to be able to write all this out and get it off my chest.

He utterly disgusts me now, cant believe how far ive come in finding all this out and what he is.

I feel sorry for any woman who has to live with a N or P

Stacie

xx

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

HOLY CRAP Stacy.....I am reeling after reading that...THANK GOD you got away from that guy...he's sounds dangerous as well as sick.....man oh man...
Shocked

Matilda
_________________
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright

skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

hiya stacie...wow, that guy is extremely sick and dangerous!! thank god that you're rid of him...the more that i read about np's the more bad memories it brings to the surface as well, but we're sooo lucky to have escaped and to be doing well in spite of it...good for you hun, ((hugs)), kitten

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello all,

Yeah he is a complete Nutjob,

I have been single for over a year and a half now, feels great to be independant.

I wont be dating for a long while to come yet. I'm enjoying life as it is.

Just wish the XP would move from being close to me and go home which is over 200 miles away. He always went home to his parents after we broke up but now chooses to stay nearby. Ugh

I have trouble remembering everything that happened between me and the XP , I have reflected on this and I believe it is because I dont want to remember.

But its theraputic to go over it in my mind, Ill get a much clearer picture and I will know what to avoid and whom to avoid in the future.

The website http://eyesforlies.blogspot.com is great, all about deception etc and lies that you can spot in other people. I have been reading this site, as it might trigger some memories I have since forgotton or not thought about.

The XP in my mind still doesn't seem like the type of person to be dangerous. I know! i know!!! its silly for me to think like this.

I have trouble because I feel like im seperating the two. In one way I dont think hes capable , but then in another there are so many things (Red Flags) that cant be ignored.

Its frustrating when it just wont SINK IN!!

Rolling Eyes

I am going to keep reading, best thing for me to do is face everything with the XP and the babies (which I dont think about as its painful) but at the end of the day Im going to have to face this. sooner rather than later.

Did anyone else suffer with the sinking in aspect? was it hard to know what you know but not quite believe it?

Much Love

Stacie xxx

skittish_kitten · Joined: 09 Aug 2007 Posts: 51

hi stacieb...nice to see you check in and sorry to hear of the difficulty you're going through...thanks for the website too~i wish i could not pick up on everyone who is seriously disordered, lol...i think that we've probably all considered going backwards and it's hard to get free and remain nc...there are a lot of "growing pains" in the process of going from awareness to acceptance and i'm sorry to hear of your memory loss...do you have a therapist to help at all?? hun, your XP seems extremely violent and dangerous...perhaps bargaining (with reality) is a part of the healing process...i've been listening to hours of tapes of my xp from when i wore a wire last year and it snaps me back to reality pretty fast!! take good care of you, love & hugs, kitten
~we're all here to support you and each other~it will get better...

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Hello All

I took what matilda said seriously because I felt I was constantly feeling like a victim, and feeling helpless and miserable. I wanted to sort out the aspects in my life I felt were dragging me down, and the fact I had to start facing what my relationship with the Ex P was , and what it "wasn't" , Im not explaining that very well, and for other people its different, I just wanted to start feeling like "me" again is how id sum that up.

Matilda · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 1834

sending you hugs Stacie,
your courage is breathtaking.

Matilda
_________________
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."-Steven Wright

Stacieb · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 59

Thankyou for your help Matilda, couldn't of done it without you Smile

Ill still hang around on the board, I would like to contribute something back

OxDrover: I know you left the board but you said you would peek back in.

I cant access my yahoo email account , could you email me here

StacyBree@googlemail.com

I couldnt reply to your last email because of forgetting my password to the account lol

wendy d · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 148

Matilda; Loved your interpetation of this letter. You are very talented at interpetation. I might ask you to interpet a letter a friend received from my husband shortly after my ex left sympathizing with her difficulty over our breakup. This person is meaningful and important in my life but throughout my marriage my husband had no respect for her or paid her any attention. Stacie, you are lucky to be rid of this wierdo.

Wendy d