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is this narcissist behavior or am i paranoid?

Sam Vaknin is the author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" and 8 other books about personality disorders and abuse in relationships with narcissists and psychopaths. He is the owner and moderator of support forums and the first person to have written about the Narcissistic Personality disorder (NPD) online (in 1997). He invented many of the terms currently used to describe the disorder and its effects on family, the workplace, and in various professions.

Where to go to ask Dr. Sam questions. This is intended as Questions to Dr. Vaknin and his responses

** Please do not post replies in this forum. This forum is for Dr. Vaknin ONLY to answer questions. Any general discussion posts WILL be deleted without warning.**

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is this narcissist behavior or am i paranoid?

Postby mushroom1972 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 5:42 am

Mine was the quintessential nice guy, and obsessed with maintaining that image. But never overtly mean to me, because that would puncture his image, just a glaring lack of empathy and emotionless- but he always tried to do the right thing with me. However, toward the end, when i started seeing through him and getting angry- instead of crying and depressed, he got nasty fast. at the very end, the grand finale, he told me never, ever to text him, call him or email him again- which I had been doing multiple times each day. So I assumed I'd never hear from him again. For the first time, i didn't call him the next day. The following day, I receive an email from him. Of course I'm elated, but then I open it to find 'i mailed your books back today- the tracking # is ...'

Now, one of the books i had given to him early in our relationship because i thought he would like it. The other I had left there and said i didn't need it back and that i had read it. when i received that email i was so upset, because it seemed that he was trying to erase every reminder of me from his house, and I had given him one of them as a nice gesture. i tol him that and he said 'thanks so much for them, but i have so much other stuff to learn right now!'. much of the time he spoke in this fake phony childish nice way. but why did he have to mail them back? why couldn't he just give them to the library? i asked and he said i can't mail cash in an envelope. of course he had an answer. Now the normal thing to do would have been to say ' i mailed your money today'. am i being paranoid, or was he trying to upset me. i think the latter. because he needed a reaction since he hadn't heard from me in two days.
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Re: is this narcissist behavior or am i paranoid?

Postby samvaknin » Sat Jan 02, 2016 3:13 pm

Read this:

http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissistobjects.html

Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/5000

The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy

https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/nar ... sages/4959
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/siteindex.html

Buy 16 books or 3 video DVDs about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships - click on this link:

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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