Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

suchastruggle · Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 25

The person in my life whom I believe is an N (but as you've said - they need the proper diagnosis, although many of them will never go for help so how would most of us ever know for certain, other than to read books like yours, use the list of character traits to decide for ourselves or compare notes with others dealing with similar people?)

This man threatened to take my puppy out back and shoot her in the head because we had trouble training her not to urinate on the carpet. 'A bullet only cost 22 cents' was his remark. When I threatened to leave, he quickly found a way to block off the carpet area so she couldn't get in, which would have been the healthy, sensible thing to do in the first place.

He is a chronic liar, fabricator and every story he relays is never how it really happened. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive throughout the years I've been with him and is also an alcoholic. Our dog's reaction to him tells it all and he uses power plays with her to scare her. He has a 'list' of things he's entitled to because he 'works hard'. There are many other situations and factors as to why I believe he is an N, but I won't go into too much detail here. Suffice it to say that he fits the description well enough - although:

He can seem to be very kind and generous at times.
He can admit some of his shortcomings, certain things that he's not good at (i.e. typing, spelling or speaking with proper grammar).
He can seem to pay attention to other's needs (as in making sure the kids are fed) and that the 'physical' well-being of the people around him is attended to.

My question is - can an N seem to be a humble, kind, caring human being at times almost similar to a wolf in sheep's clothing or could this not possibly be an N?

samvaknin · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 2015

Hi,

These may be of help - click on the links:

The Narcissist's False Modesty

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq36.html

The Self-Deprecating Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal39.html

The Narcissist as a Compulsive Giver

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal96.html

The Misanthropic Altruist

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal81.html

The Pathological Charmer

http://samvak.tripod.com/case05.html

The Inverted Narcissist

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

Narcissists, Inverted Narcissists and Schizoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq67.html

Take care.

Sam

suchastruggle · Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 25

Thanks - that cleared up the matter for me quite well indeed ...