Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Narc sister has ruined a surprise party for our sisters 40th.
We were all making a scrapbook album to show how much she means to us, her kids were making pages for the album, her husband, I was making pages, my kids, all the family and friends. This album was an exciting surprise, she has hurt alot of poeple all in one hit.

She told her in a sneaky and evil way to hurt her, cause she was respectfully askedby her to be polite and civil, because it was a party and it was not going to be anything but a happy occasion. She is notorious for making a happy turnout anything but.

Sick sister promised contineously she would behave at this party for months now, she sounds like a childjust talking about her, but she is 43 and she proved wrong when she was openly rude and kept her back to her other sister on the hospital bed, visiting our mother. Mum has had heart concerns this past week and a half and you can bet mum at 74 has been dragged through the mud of sick sisters woes. Mum enables this shit.

They know she is evil, but dont know the mechanics of narcs mind and so her show will go on.
There is going to be rage and not just on her part. Birthday sisters husband has bitten his mouth for too long and nsis is getting a piece of his mind. nsis is getting her circus.

Sick sister just lost her last chance at her last sister, she got none left now.

The fallout will be devastating, once more.

I am lustful for revenge and it wont leave my mind.
So if I had any healing these last 20 or so months, I have relapsed.

How can I make her unemployable, she is studying to be a personal carer. Believe me I feel sorry for anybody she would feign care on, it would be to get in their will.

I am serious about showing her some kharma, but none that will get me in jail.

Don't do it.
Revenge only really hurts the person doing it. You will sink to her level.

Hating someone else is like drinking poison, and expecting them to die from it. She will be totally untouched and you will look like the nut job.

Living your life, with no contact with her, a happy life is the best revenge.
I do understand, my NM beat me, let me go without food, clothing, tried to kill me and hate ate me up for years. Till I let it go, then the healing began. My hate didn't hurt her, it hurt me.

She's disordered, why are you surprised when she doesn't act ordered/normal? Why are you expecting a different result? Inflicting pain is her normal.

Sorry your sister had her surprise ruined, but the best revenge, would be NOT to react, for the BIL not to give her a piece of his mind. For you all to act united and as if it never happened. Don't feed the beast.

What is amazing about these type of people is that you don't have to do anything. They do it to themselves. Just live your life and the inevitable will happen. Because of their overblown sense of importance they try to bulldoze their way through life and the end up getting what they deserve for their behavior. For example my sister has been an N her whole life making me miserable now after being in over 6 car accidents for money her back is so destroyed she is now in constant pain. She is 35 years old and looks 45 due to her evil spiteful ways. Another boy we grew up with did not care about anyone but what he wanted now he is in jail for life because he murdered someone while trying to rob him.

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Confucius

As tempted as you may be, don't do it. They will only twist it around to make YOU look like the "crazy" one.

Pracheal wrote:

What is amazing about these type of people is that you don't have to do anything. They do it to themselves. Just live your life and the inevitable will happen. Because of their overblown sense of importance they try to bulldoze their way through life and the end up getting what they deserve for their behavior.

So true Prracheal !!

Magnum, I completely understand your feelings right now. Here's an admission: I am a Revenge Chick at heart.
In the long ago past, any Psychos who I didn't have to run away from for my life, I DID take revenge on. I would wait for my opportunity and quietly grab it without anyone knowing it was me.

Except for the (not so quietly) time an exN stole my identity and money and ruined my credit so I couldn't live. My cousin had just married into an "interesting" family business, and I used their "kind offer" of help, which caused the ex to wee his pants and turn himself in to the cops and admit all his crimes against me. My credit was restored, and the ex left me alone for EVER after. Too scared to cross me ever again (as was my goal).

I remember him looking at me for pity and I said "Hi I'm Kharma, nice to meet you" PS: he was NOT hurt at all, I wouldn't allow that, just scared out of his wits. I felt good, I felt powerful. I got my credit, money and life back all in one day. Ah, revenge.
**EDITED TO ADD: This story is not bragging rights, (I even think maybe I ought to delete it) it's too show that I too have a strong revenge steak in me ;that I have acted on in the past, and as a woman in her mid 40's, I now know what harm it has done to my body and soul. Just wanchta to know, anyone who reads it, that at least some ACONS can and do feel revenge needs, and maybe we have acted on them in the past, not knowing any better, it's probably a natural human emotion to being hurt/betrayed. And I'm no saint, I'm deeply flawed. And I have seen that over time, and experience, the revenge thing, it will get us back somehow....END OF EDIT***

You see, I have a little green hulk girl inside me. She HAD to threaten all kinds of things and ACT on them, to save her own life when she was only 10 years old, or her NM an PD would have killed her like they killed her pets. So, the revenge thing is deep in me also. Built from a need to survive life as a young child.

So, now: many years later, the little green hulk, who gets her revenge has had to grow up and I HAD TO CONTROL HER or she would end up killing me with stress. I pay for it now, with a weak heart prone to heart attacks, wacked out immune system, depleted adrenals, kidney stress and 3 past battles with cancer. All stress from surviving and revenge. Revenge keeping me in the survival cycle. When what I needed to do for my own health, was just walk. Away.

Pracheal's quote (above) is true. In your case, I think revenge would only hurt you more.
Here's an example of the truth of Pracheal's quote: My hubby is currently partnered at work with a guy who hid what he really is (in the beginning) but we now know is a raving Psychopath. Hubby suffers.
I have told Hubby just DO NOT react to any of P's provocation. (that little green hulk has learned her lesson: actually still learning )

The ignore strategy, It's working. Slowly, but surely, it's driving the P more and more crazy and he's showing himself to more and more people. It's becoming increasingly obvious to all around that P is a crazy man.
BUT if my Hubby HAD reacted in ANY way to P's provocations, (ie: revenge) then, my Hubby would be the one looking and sounding crazy right now. And playing right into P's game.
Instead, P is obviously the crazy one as my Hubby just lays low and does not seek revenge. (God knows he wants it!! but this is the ultimate revenge, NC as much as possible, drives the N's and P's crazy)

Your sister will do the same, her rants and rages and petulant behavior will be her downfall, and maybe sooner than you think. Just act cool, like nothing she does touches any of you. She will probably become unemployable all by herself.
BUT if you interfere with this process, she can turn around, lie, slander you and destroy your life.
She will be her own downfall.

I'm watching my own NM do this to herself right now. Her lies are getting bigger. The little Green Hulk inside me wants desperately to get revenge NOW, but I can see (only today now I'm calmer), that she is digging her own hole, and I need not slow that process down with my own revenge. She's doing fine, all by herself.

Sit back, watch and wait, your Nsis will do the same thing. Bettcha!!

(I do hear ya on the whole wanting revenge thing though, I know it's tough, hang strong. BUT if you find out she is HARMING or hurting any of the people she is caring for in employment, then, against what everyone else here has said, I think you have a case to protect those people. Just, not yet, her downfall may happen before then by her own hand)

Stay strong x

Again, I dont know how to multiquote. I will thankyou for all your insights, it has given my a look at revenge on a different angle. I too have the little green hulk chick in me. To be critisized and fought with for living my best life. Yeah, I'm quiet and I'm nice. lethal for me in the wrong hands. All I want is to be respected as i them and to have my values honoured and I get crapped on for it.
I have a feeling Narc sister is going to go for me in a sympathy attempt, cause I have had to deal with her regarding mums medical tests. This is the most I've spoken to her in 20 months. I am not fighting with her like the other 2 sisters, she baited them and ruined a 40th and nsis may see this as an angle.

I'm not sure what to do should she attempt to lure me back. The minute I politely and courteously tell her she is a boundary
breaker and has no regard for who I am, is the minute she will tell me to go f--k myself and yada yada yada
Her Kharma would do the community and society justice. Her kharma is not illegal or misplaced this kharma is warranted and encouraged by the govenment, this kharma saves the taxepayer millions.

I was actually told I was an accomplice should I not go forward with my fraud tip off, so I am obliged.

I am greatful for every post here on the kharma thing, thankyou.
I will definitely sit on these replies, sometimes just thinking the revenge is enough. I am going to take a look at my punching bag in the garage and develop some photos

I was actually told I was an accomplice should I not go forward with my fraud tip off, so I am obliged.

Magnum, if you have legal evidence of fraud perpetrated by your sister to forward her career as a care taker, then in my opinion, you have every right and duty to forward that evidence onto relevant authorities.
You are right, you can be an accomplice if you keep important evidence hidden.
But MAKE SURE the tip is authentic and true.

Can you talk to a lawyer about this?

I think in this case, it would not be revenge as much as proper civic duty. But there will be major horrible consequences for you from your Nsister if she finds out you betrayed her.

In the big picture, the public has a right to be protected if you have evidence of fraud.

I'm sorry, I didn't know you had any fraud tips on your sister, or I would have said this in my first post. I thought you were just wanting to give her some pain back.

In my opinion, we all have a duty to protect the public from professionals who would do them harm.

I won't go into details, but i was convinced/harassed (and too ill) to protect a man who molested me: he's a medical friend, and all these years later, he is dead now and I live with the ENORMOUS guilt from not protecting the many women he molested after me all those years. He eventually got put away.
Now I report ALL molesters when I have proof.

I think your case may be more than simple revenge.....just check your fraud tip. And if you consult a lawyer: find out if you will be held as an accomplice.

And GOOD FOR YOU for coming forward with any evidence that protects the public. Especially if it's your sister and you know how dangerous she can be.
Do what you legally need to do to protect yourself. And everyone else she defrauds. Don't be her accomplice.

I apologise for not understanding your initial post. This is more complicated than "kharma" or revenge. Sometimes we need to be responsible citizens and the people we need to turn in just happen to be our own flesh and blood. Sad.

What's your motivation?

You will look like a jerk, probably ruin relationships with non-N persons, and you will sit empty with the revenge, looking for more.

It doesn't work. Ever.

If you think you are "getting her back," you don't really understand Narcissism. Negative or positive, they get off on every last bit of it. In your "revenge" you will be serving her up a nice big platter of supply - thus the joke would be on you.

It's counter productive to your recovery. And really, you have more dignity and class than that, don't you? :)

Let me tell you about a little case of child pornography.
AND, in addition the P was involved in geriatric care as well and as good as admitted to me that he killed some old man by giving him too much of his meds.

Karma is karma. But duty is duty. And if you know something that nsis is going to hurt someone else intentionally, you could be charged with accessory. That's not karma my friend. That's your civic duty to not participate in her willingly hurting others. If you think she is not suited for health care then you should tell someone. It might take you awhile to get someone to listen, but you should try your best to stop a devastation that could very well happen.

I found child porn in my XP's stuff that he had left with me. I was faced with the dilemma that that SOB MF'ing lunatic was a pedophile. After a day of throwing up and sobbing I took the CD's to the police. He did almost four years in prison. Karma, yes, but duty even more. At that point I saw myself as the only one enlightened enough to know these horrors and I did it. And I'm proud I did. It was almost four years that he wasn't able to hurt ANYONE much less a child.

There's a fine tempered difference there. Honey, I'm southern. I got the monster in spades that wanted to get me some serious revenge. But when it came down to it, his own sickness brought him down. I think he left the CD's with me because he wanted to traumatize me, he wanted me to look at those pictures and upset me.. But it only made my resolve stronger. SOB wasn't going to get away with it if I could help it. Despite the fear I felt I had a duty to do and I did it. I had to go on valium for awhile, but I did it. And I was supposed to be the star witness at his trial but thank God they talked him into a plea deal. Besides my evidence they came up with more from the computer he was on at the time. Over 600 images.

So do what you got to do. And let the chips fall where they may.

Hugs,
Windy

Uug Windy. How awful !! I'm glad his sicko backwards thinking, trying to upset you backfired.
You WERE HIS KARMA !! Rock on !!!

Magnum, I'm with Windsong on this. Like I said in my above post. If you have evidence, and you can protect people, do it. It can get rocky.
But I can say from my own experience, when I haven't acted in the best interests of society when I had proof of abuse, I have lived and still live with the massive guilt of letting it slide. And all the other people who have had to go through it because I didn't act.
The guilt still hurts. I shoulda done something.

Civic Duty. Do what ya gotta do.
Anyway, maybe that is your sister's kharma......YOU.

Be safe xx