Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 497

And what a pleasant chirp the cricket makes! The allusion of course is not that you chirp a lot or in an undisciplined manner, but when you do it is poignant and soothing to the ear.

Cricket · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 113

I think that if you find yourself "sitting in a circle channeling energy", you've probably stumbled upon some hippies and the next course of action is to run away before they bust out the bongos and the Joan Baez.

To avoid this very undesirable result, I'd suggest a dojo where you could learn martial arts as well as Eastern thought and discipline. This way you can get your physical aggression out in a healthful way (vis-a-vis punching a wall) and still have a social outlet with others who are also seeking discipline and peace. And then maybe you can become a ninja. It's a win-win situation!

You need to find a family outside of the traditional family structure. My brother and I were talking the other day about how when we were kids we would spend nearly all of our time at the homes of our friends. It was because of those sympathetic parents (who I now realize must have questioned why we never wanted to go home) that we ended up as normal (relatively) as we did.

When you do move out, these are the people who will help you, just as you will learn from helping them in their time of need.

Riccy101 · Joined: 18 Feb 2007 Posts: 287

Hi Thay and everyone.

Aside from troubles with logging in to the group, we spent a lovely few days at the beach. Good to return, and read all these beautiful, healing responses.

Thay, you are amazing. I don't know if I would have come to all the realizations that you have, when I was your age.

The realization you described, when you finally met, full force, the fact that your NF has never been capable, and also will never be capable, of loving you or any other human being, is a harsh reality. I remember my first realization of this, concerning my own parents. It hurts like nothing you can describe...but at the same time explains so much about our childhoods, that it actually has a freeing effect. N's are truly not like us. They can not feel things the way we do, although they look the same, and can fake a good game. Those of us who have come full circle, and now realize that fact, are the ones who I refer to as having graduated from the school of N.

I'm also so happy to hear that you've reconciled your feelings toward your mother. It is harder to carry the weight of anger (not to mention physically harmful to your health) than to come to an understanding, and drop the anger debt, a.k.a. forgiveness.

Well, Thay! You have a rich and wonderful life ahead of you.
Very Happy

Cricket,

You jogged my memory about cricket being Pinnocio's conscience. LOL. I never really thought about all that stuff before. Cricket really is a good screen name.

Riccy

thayilflies · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 497

Cricket, you are correct. I need to find a family and practicing martial arts and learning eastern thought would be a productive way to do so, while providing my knuckles (and to a lesser extent my wall) with some much needed relief.