Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

nicolette · Joined: 17 Sep 2007 Posts: 1 Location: scotland uk

my daughter esme is 9 years old and ever since the age of two has been very challenging and not in a good way!she has always been slow with her milestones and has never really had that interest/curiosity in life like my other 3 kids have,even as a baby i could have sat her in front of an open fire and she would have just sat there.anyway from the age of two she started with tantrums which at the time i considered fairly normal except they have never stopped since,over the years she has become more and more defiant,while my other 3 children will ofcourse push the boundaries they know when to stop,she doesnt,and i am ashamed to say i cant find anything nice to say about her,she is very manipulating and sneaky,has landed my youngest in hospital twice with her impulsive violent outbursts,will not take a telling,is very lazy and uncooperative with homework,does not appear to have a conscience,she is never sorry for her behaviour except when it has consequences for her like being grounded,doesnt seem to have any real intersts and has basically no friends,she will make friends then shortly afterwards falls out with them,she never gets invited to parties,she seems very immature for her age and has recently changed schools as she was not reaching her levels but instaed was "hiding" in the class,she is now at my hubbys school where there are only 15 pupils,she is getting extra tuition but it is becoming more and more clear that she is not willing to try,she is considered average intellect as she has been assessed,its almost like she is on a different planet half the time,she doesnt seem to have any social skills whatsoever.the only time esme seems to behave is when she wants something,i find this really unacceptable,we have had her assessed but every time she put on the cute act and made me and my hubby look like a pair of idiots,she does behave in school although can be a bit cheeky.i am just so stressed alot of the time with her,nothing works as she never learns!i am at my wits end,help!

SIMMONS6 · Joined: 11 Sep 2007 Posts: 5 Location: Southern CA

Hi Nicolette,

I have a post about my 6 year old. However, I also have a 5 year old that has recently been diagnosed with Conduct Disorder and Impulse Disorder. She's my step daughter and have only had her for the last two years. So I don't know what she was like as a baby. And my husband at the time had two jobs and wasn't home alot. However, since she was threeand has lived with me she's thrown the cat off the balcony, tried to shove a pencil down the dogs throat, thank God I walked in when I did, she choked me, garroted her sister, kicked the dogs in the face every time she would walk by and punch her sisters and kick them in the face as well. She had no remorse for anything she did. She would actually show pleasure in being mean. Oh yeah, she also pulled all of the hair off my guinea pigs. Enough hair that I filled a sandwich baggie. She would pee on the floor while watching TV or pull her pants down in the kitchen a squat and pee and she would play in her poop in the toilet and wipe it all over the walls. She was almost 5 and still doing that in the bathroom. In pre school she had no desire to learn, she wouldn't do anything to help herself learn. We had her evaluated for disabilities like Autism and such at a hopital recommended by UCLA here in CA. And her IQ is average adn in some areas above average. We took her to a nuerologist and she's fine. WE finally got her in to a phsyciatrist that would actually listen to us and get past her "look at me I'm so cute" behavior. Like you, her teachers and other therapists would look at me and my husband like we were picking on this sweet little girl. Finally just in the last 5 months she's been on an anti-phsycotic medication called Risperdyl. She's a compleltly different child. She's loving, caring, and kind. I didn't think it was possible for her to change. I was at my wits end because I knew one day she was going to kill something or someone. I can't say that you would have the same results with her on this medication. However the phsyciatrist that she goes to said she's had alot of success with children on this medication. Underneath all of the violent non remorseful behavior was this beautiful little girl. She will have to be on it for the rest of her life. One time I went to get her refill and there was a mix up between the pharmacy and the Drs. office and she went three days without her medication. And she started to back slide alot. So I know when she gets older and if she chooses not to take it there could be serious trouble. However, right now it's made life with her good. Now she does still misbehave, however it's normal kid stuff. And if she has any kind of change in her schedule or like when school let out for the summer and when it started again she does back slide as well. However, it's not nearly even close to what it was. It's very minimal. Now we're struggling with our other daughter who has a whole different set of issues. But your daughter sounds like my 5 year old. And we did eventually find her the help she needed. Thank God hers is able to be controlled by medication. Not all kids can. Like my other daughter. They say you can't medicate a bad personality. But maybe if you keep looking and find a phyciatrist that will listen you can try the medication. She sounds just like my 5 year old. I read this and thought I'd let you know what we experienced with my daughter and I hope it gives you a little hope.