Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

Just got a call from my lawyer. She filed a motion for support. He decided that he will not buy the business after all, if it means he would have to pay support. He is requesting we dissolve the business. I just knew it was all going too well. My lawyer thinks it's her mistake - that she should have gotten the business transfer on paper before filing for support. Big tactical error!

I'm trying not to panic. I am just going to go about my day normally, and think about what to do next. My lawyer is also going to "sleep on it", and try to decide on the next strategy.

This changes everything.

dagna · Joined: 18 Apr 2007 Posts: 493

geez Nancy that really stinks. I'm so sorry. I'm sure your lawyer will think of something. Bleh.

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

I should have seen it coming.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

Disolve? Why not sell the business? Both of you split the proceeds?

You have worked very hard to keep it together. Don't get discouraged. Maybe N thought running the business was too much for him. You ran the business without him. Interesting. It's going to be even harder for him at a 9-5 job working for a real boss.

So his logic is to destroy what you have worked years building. He will have to work anyway to pay child support so why would he not want to work at his own business?

The asset of the business most likely is irrelevant to the income which he still hass to earn at a daily job to hep you support the kids.

Who does he think is going to pay theri bills? A disolved business and unemployed parents?

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

We looked into selling the business, it doesn't have much value if sold. It's biggest assets are the N and myself. I paid thousands for that verdict.

He is hoping I will buy him out and pay him support.

He's not logical, he's an N.

My lawyer just sent me a draft of a non-compete motion she will be filing in the court today or tomorrow. It states that he verbally agreed to buy me out, took exclusive control of the business on 7/30, and has since decided to dissolve it. We know that he does plan on starting up a new, competing business, and my lawyer stated that fact in the motion, so we'll see what his reaction is.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

If it wasn't profitable=have value, why is still going to do the same business with the same clients? This would indicate the business had value. Have you placed an add to see if you get any bites?

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

When the panic passed, I realized that I'm no worse off than I was before. At least I'm not up there working 15-16 hour days.

I think that part of the problem was that I became too confident, starting to feel like I was in control of the situation, instead of accepting that some things are beyond my control.

vmm, it is a very profitable business, but for a variety of reasons, it would not really have a value in order to sell it. I thought there would be more value placed on our customer lists and our vendor accounts and credit ratings, but the reality of it is that it's sales, and most of the value lies in the salesperson. We have lost all employees during the turmoil of the last 2 1/2 years since N's Nism emerged. All that's left is the N and myself.

I could make a go of it myself, but I don't want to, I don't like it, and I can't afford to buy him out as I'm already buying him out of the family home. It would have been a near even swap if he kept the business.

It's definitely not rational for him to give up the business. He makes a lot of money, which is his sole source of self-esteem, and he loves what he does. It is strictly because he found out he'd have to pay support (duh!).

The best I can hope for is that the judge clearly sees his plans to dissolve the business, then open the same under a new name, and grants me half the value of the business anyway.

The worst scenario is we dissolve it without compensation and we are both unemployed. Of course, that would never last long. I would get a job tomorrow if it came to that. I have kids to support. We won't starve. Either will he. It might actually be a bluff.

We'll see how it all plays out over the next few days.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

the fact that N is scared that if he keeps the bsuiness, he will be ordered more ammount of support is telling on the business income potentail.

N will probably try to get you to sign a paper to "disolve" the business so that the judge cannot order N to give you any money form it. Or order N to pay support on the same high wages that N has been making in the previous years in the business.

Hugs

livedthroughit · Joined: 20 Feb 2007 Posts: 967

I don't know the particulars of your state, but here, it is as VMM states, the N would be ordered to pay support based on his earnings from last year if he dissolves the business. I would suspect that is the norm for most states.

Of course, you are at an advantage in the fact that you know what the earnings were last year -- not some doctored up numbers the N presents the court.

These Ns are unfortunately, so predictable. Just when you think the legal issues are settles, they start "renegotiating." This is why I stopped giving in to any of the Ns legal demands. Nancy, I am sorry that he didn't follow through with your agreement.

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

Just because he says it doesn't make it so.

I am certain that he has every intention of opening a competing business. He probably thinks that dissolving the business exempts him from the non-compete. At times, he seems so profoundly clueless.

If he doesn't agree to the non-comp, which I'm sure he will not, I will put it before the judge to order him to pay me my share, along with alimony and child support. I will even drag out the evidence of physical abuse. It is very, very clear, even to his own lawyer, that he intends to open a competing business, and that the only reason he refuses to uphold our agreement is because he doesn't want to pay support.

Let's see what a judge will do with a wife beater trying to get out of paying support, and planning to steal the family business. He even told his lawyer I could live off my "savings" (my inheritance that was put aside expressly for the kids' educations, and that he is desperate to get a piece of). I wonder what the judge would think of that? There must be some justice in our legal system.

vmm · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 185

In some areas, I think it is law than no parent has to sell their assets to support a child( or not receive CS. maybe you should check with your atty about this. N would stil have to pay, he cant jus't not pay CS having the court force you to drain your retirement funds on kids expenses while N refuses to work his high salary business.

Summer · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 905

deleted

NancyCT · Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1371 Location: Connecticut, USA

Summer, yes, my inheritance money is safe from him, but it is his all-consuming quest to sqeeze it out of me in one way or another, whether it's through stealing the business, or withholding child support, or upping the home appraisal, or whatever. It's very clear that he feels entitled to that bit of money, and he said to me that if I keep it to myself he should not have to help pay for the children's education. He really believes it.