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Kelly
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 16
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 Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 2:50 pm Post subject: I HATE HIM AND I FEEL GREAT! |
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We've had no contact for two weeks now. As you've all posted, he would try to contact me again and I was looking forward to it. Really! I've been practicing the "I hate you" speech for a week now. It feels good to actually say that "I hate him", and you know what? I"m entitled!
SOOOO, when he emailed me yesterday about the stupid Costco membership and mistakenly asked how I was doing, I FINALLY got to write my little speech!! Here it is....
"I'm doing extremely well. I've been praying for you. Praying that you die a lonely, torturous death and then, no doubt, rot in hell since you are evil incarnate. I hate you, and always will, for what you did to me and to my children, for lying to my friends and family and for what I know know you are - a sociopathic predator - the devil himself. Don't ever contact me again."
WOOHOO!!!!!!! I immediately felt so much better - better than I have in months actually! HOW LIBERATING! (Not to worry, he has no history of violence.) The other joy is I don't care how or if he reacts, I just needed to tell him how much I hate him, and NOW I CAN LET IT GO!! I don't want him or his crap to spoil another one of my God-given days!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to share the ups with you all, and not just the downs.
Thanks for giving me a place to celebrate!
Kelly
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Cookie2
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1378
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Kelly.......I hate to say this because you new people just don't get it but you absolutly MADE HIS DAY and I highly doubt that is what you wanted to achieve...Make no mistake tho Kelly....He's really happy right now and this email(n supply=YOU) is the reason........You probably DO feel better...and HE probably isnt violent......still make no mistake thinking it's all over because he will be back......dont know how just yet but he will be........
_________________
I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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nolongertrusting
Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 266
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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Kelly, Couldn't agree with Cookie2 more. You did make his day. Don't respond at all. He's sitting back going: ha, ha, ha.
nolongertrust
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Kelly
Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Well, so much for feeling great. Actually, I don't really care what he thinks or feels anymore. I guess that's a good thing if you both are right.
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Cookie2
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1378
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 12:55 am Post subject: |
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Kelly....Didnt mean to pop your balloon...honest......I hope you will try to find another road to feeling good that has nothing to do with him....weather you care or not how he felt about what you said.....My feeling is as much as they hurt us and cause us pain I wouldnt give my x 2 seconds of my time making him think'She still cares'.....Even treating him with hate isnt saying that to him...It's saying'Oh thank God...she still cares and this just proved it' We cant make the mistake of thinking we know how a disordered person thinks because the only way we can know is by reading the links on a site like this.......
_________________
I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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nolongertrusting
Joined: 25 Feb 2007
Posts: 266
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:18 am Post subject: |
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| Kelly, Thats the best you've said: . Actually, I don't really care what he thinks or feels anymore. YOU DON'T CARE ANYMORE, GOOD FOR YOU.!!!
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wendy d
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 187
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Kelly
It is liberating to finally be able to let go and say what we really feel especially if it is safe to do so. I agree with the other posts that to share any of this with him is fruitless if you expect it to have the impact you need him to feel.
It only confirms for him that you still think of him, are affected emotionally by him and that you are willing to put some effort into validating these things and his existance.
Food for an N.
I am going through a divorce right now and I still fight the urge to contact him just for minor help or to get an explanation or just wanting to blast him. I have made NC what so ever since he abandoned me Nov. 2007 and feel better every day for it. He has no idea what I am thinking, feeling or planning. I like it that way. It is harder for him to read me and prepare his attacks on my emotions. I am careful not to give any hints to others who may see him what I am really thinking or planning either so this avenue has been closed to him.
He has made efforts in a sideways fashion to get a rise out of me but I keep the effects between me and a few trusted friends. I can not wait for my divorce!
Free at last! Free at last! Free at last! Will be my new mantra.
Wendy d
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Cookie2
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 1378
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| Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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And what a great mantra it is Wendy.....coming a long way you are!Congrats!
_________________
I have a photographic memory....I just don't have same day service.....................Cookie
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