Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

femfree · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 646

I CAN’T BELIEVE I LOVED YOU

If I meet you on the street
I’ll walk the other way
I can’t believe that forty years
Mean no more than a day.

I can’t believe the way I grovelled
The umpteen tons of muck I shovelled
To keep you happy in our hovel
I can’t believe I loved you.

So easy to say, ‘Lets sever the tie’
Easy too, to tell any lie
They fall from your lips like rain from sky
Leaving’s your way of making me cry.

I really should be celebrating
Or on the network, cyber dating
Odd times I prayed this day would come
But reality’s left me surprisingly numb.

I can’t believe the way I grovelled
The umpteen tons of muck I shovelled
To keep you free from feeling troubled
I can’t believe I loved you.

If you should call me on the phone
I won’t know what to do.
Anger, aggression and blaming, or tears
Nostalgically – falsely- recalling the years.

Its easy to say lets just walk away
Its easy to say, lets call it a day
To beg for forgiveness or mercy or else
To damn you to loneliness all by yourself.

I can’t believe the way I grovelled
the umpteen tons of muck I shovelled
To keep your self-image serenely unruffled
I can’t believe I loved you.

I don’t know what I’ll do tomorrow
There’ll be new joys tho’ spiced with sorrow
That you’ll miss out on so much sharing
But then, I’m almost past such caring.

At least the things you’ll leave to bide
As off you stalk with injured pride
Are qualities you most deride
All love, all caring, locked inside.

I can’t believe the way I grovelled
the umpteen tons of muck I shovelled
To keep your ego almost doubled…
I can’t believe I loved you.

Tricia
_________________
Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer;
nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

wendy d · Joined: 03 Jan 2008 Posts: 124

Tricia; Excellent! The pain and confusion can be felt in the words along with realization of some truths. Thank you for sharing, I can relate. Wendy D

movedon · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 817

Great poem and can hear in it its meaning, thanks for sharing
Hugs
Movedon
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