Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

flmommaof3kids · Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 1

Hello Ladies and Gents(if there are any here),
Not sure if there are Men on here.

My name is Jessie on here. I don't want to use my real name because of the court battle I am going through.

I am in my early 30's and I have 3 children.

I would love to show pics of my little darlings but I can't right now.

I was very happy to come across this support group.

I never really knew that Narcissism was such a big thing. But now I know all about it.

Here is my story:

I meet my soon to be ex about 5 years ago. Everything was wonderful. He was a sweet, caring man. He seemed to love me unconditionally. Even at my worst moments, first thing in the moring, hair a mess. etc.
Then I got pregnant with my son and the mental abuse started. But I didn't recognize it. Then my son was born and financial problems started come. Due to his ( I am God thoughts) he lost control and started with more abuse. Then the Honeymoon phase came again and everything was good. I thought I was just reading him wrong. Then baby 2 was on the way when my son was just 8 months old. Then itreally hit the fan. We lost our apartment. But me being as strong as I was I could handle the stresses. Not him, the mental and emotional abuse got worse. I dealt with it the best I could but he just got worse. And my self esteem went out the window. My daughter was born and I went back to work while he stayed home. Things went downhill when he lost his control of the situation. And the abuse got worse. Then I had so much on my plate that I started to have mental issues. I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder. My therapist told me I need to get my kids and get out of the situation. He then knew something was up and never left me alone with the 3 children. Then I had enough of the abuse and I hit him to get out of my way and let me out of the house. He called the cops and now I have DV charges against me. I just want to get my children and I out of the house and to safety. You know what the worst part is. Everyone believes that I was the abusive one. Well everyone he talks to. He has the state supporting him, HE throws down his domestic violence CARD every chance he can to get someone else to take care of him. He has a Public Defender for court while I have a $2,000 a month attorney bill. I can't pay my bills and he is just living off everyone else.

Since I filled for divorce my adjustment disorder is gone. I am regaining my self-esteem back. I am surrounding myself with positive friends and family. I know I will be okay. I just don't understand how I fell for the lies and I didn't see it. I mean I am fairly smart. But I fell for the thoughts of the white picket fence. I really don't want to get into to many more details at the current time due to his internet knowledge. But I can't wait to read all your stories and encouragement for each other.

Hugs,
Jessie

movedon · Site Admin Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 814

Hi Jesse,
I found this link concerning your disorder

http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/adjustment.asp

Im so sorry your going through this nightmare, by hitting him you know you played into his hands, and I also know only too well with my own experiences how they drive you to do things you wouldnt normally do.
Hes taken you to court for Domestic Violence ,one thing you have in your corner is your therepist told you to leave with the children so therefore she knew your state of mind at the time before all this happened.
How I read this is, you were leaving him and he tried to prevent you from leaving so you struck out to get passed him.
You were at the time suffering from this disorder which places you as not fully in control at the time being in an emotionally charged state.
I would never condone domestic violence ever, but it sounds to me like self defence more than domestic violence hun
Your history in court will be vital so you will need your therepist to testify and your doctor and hospital experts who diagnosed you in the first place
Has he ever hit you? or was it emotional abuse? (and dont get me wrong emotional abuse can be far worse and more scarring than anything)
Hun I know your going through this nightmare at the moment but please read all you can on here it will help you understand more about your man and yourself and how to cope
Welcome to the forum so pleased you found us

were here for you

Hugs
Movedon
xxxxxxxxxx

Echo · Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:23 pm Post subject:

Hi Jessie, Welcome to the boards. What a horrible nightmare scenario - its quite common that they will drive us to the point of violence and then claim we are the violent ones. I can also understand exactly how this happened to you. And now he is there sucking up all the sympathy.

Are you still having to have contact with him?

Read all you can, and use any of the different boards you like, we have one with advice on divorce also, and there is the main NPD board.

People will all understand what you are enduring, let us know how best we can support you. Surprised

Echo