Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Hi
\ Been away a while
Left my N aug 2007. Kicked him our. Got a restraining and no contact order post haste, and supervised visitation . He has used the visits 5 x in 15 months. LOSER Now comes the trial Nov 19. The first supervisor fell for his sob story, and was provably biased. Trying to file a complaint, but she was private so to whom??
Think the trial will be: I keep sole custody, I get child maintenance and back pay (9000.00 minus expenses for the 5 visits- whopp-de -doo) If he doesn't pay FMP will garnishee.
The big heartbreaker. I bet he won't have supervised access much longer. They'll pick a random number ie ten more., I want to have it dependant on seeing a shrink, anger management, meds etc, but really its a losing battle. Either way he'll do lip service at warpspeed and have my baby in his twisted clutches.
I am slowly resigning myself. My boy misses him, gets very excited to see him and such. The courts will never keep access supervised long term.
So assuming he gets unsupervised access, what is important to have on paper, so his craziness enters nmine and my child's life to the minimum??
Viv

I can only tell you what I am working on. My stbxnh does not yet have overnight but he just started unsupervised last week after he FINALLY started anger managment. I think you are right to just accept and deal with it--that's what I'm doing. I have required the following...
- he must have a place to live that is child proofed and she must have her own room
- he cannot leave her with other people (right of first refusal--must call me to get her before he hires a babysitter or has someone else watch her)
- can't use tobacco in her presence
- must do homework with her every day
- cannot leave her with his mother or have his mother watch her when he is supposed to be with her interacting with her
- then I listed a whole bunch of general safety things--like stay away from stove, must sit in car seat, can't be left alone in car or at house etc. Also put the food guide so he knows what to feed her. Specified bedtime etc. Also rules for playdates, toys, appropriate dress, mine is about 10 pages long right now!
-recently I've been adding the narc stuff like--bring back the same clothes, she has her own phone to call me, etc .
-Also have a list of house rules--which are rules that are followed in my house which he needs to post for her in his house (this was the parenting plan coordinator's idea). There's a bunch more.

I hope this helps.