Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

[nat morriss]

OK,

I don't post here much because so many others have been hurt much worse than me and because they are much more eloquent.

But, occasionally I come across a post in which a parent completely character assassinates their own child RUTHLESSLY, without any evidence of self-reflection on their own part, and no-one on this board sticks the truth in their face, or sticks up for the child. Maybe the explanation is that many here are conditioned to pacify narcissists but it isn't good enough.

To those people: " WAKE UP: I know you think you are the most important person in the world but NEWSFLASH: Your children have feelings too. YES THAT'S RIGHT. Your children are alive, feeling, touching, learning HUMAN BEINGS that deserve LOVE and RESPECT and ATTENTION and CARE and LOVE and more LOVE and then SOME MORE LOVE. They are individuals in their OWN RIGHT and you should TREAT THEM AS SUCH. If your child hates your guts IT IS YOUR FAULT. PERIOD.

Sorry for this vent but you gotta call it the way you see it.
nm

[andrea37]

I'm a little confused here because I don't think I have seen what you're referring to. If you mean the posts from people that worry about their kids being narcissists because their child's behavior fits the profile, and said child is an adult, then I don't agree with you. We have to call it like we see it. If my child were an adult and their behavior screamed narcissist, then I would admit it for what it is and deal with it accordingly. Narcissists have to come from somewhere, after all. They are born into normal families, as well as dysfunctional ones, although the latter is more prevalent, I'm sure. Some feel that there is a genetic predisposition to personality disorders, and I have to concur. While my father was a complete narcissist (diagnosed) and I am not, I do worry about my own son sometimes. He is still a teenager, though, and they are by nature narcissistic, so all I can do at this point is try everything in my power to nurture any empathy he has.
On the other hand, if I were to read what you are describing, I would never support someone who is a narcissist in any way. I am 46 years old and only recently came out of the fog that was my life with a narcissistic parent. I always believed I was so smart that I could never fall prey to something like a cult, while in reality I was always in one- my family! The moment I learned the truth that my family was a lie, it was an epiphany. I have done so much research on it, it boggles my mind sometimes. Knowing the truth about these vampires has empowered me to the extent that I have absolutely no tolerance for them whatsoever. I was an enabler because I didn't understand what I was enabling, and I have always felt powerless. Not anymore! Knowledge is power and I defend anyone who is the victim of abuse, physical or emotional. My empathy is only limited by the victims' willingness to remain the victim once they realize what they are dealing with. But I do understand that this takes time sometimes. Not everyone can have it all spelled out to them and they can then "get it" right away. It's really difficult for anyone to wrap their brain around the concept that some people truly are evil, especially when it's someone they love. Eventually we all have to come to grips with it and act accordingly. To do nothing to protect oneself shows how damaged that person is, for sure, but if you won't do anything to finally help yourself, than who can?
Anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent, I just needed a little more clarification, I guess, on which particular posts you are referring to because I probably haven't seen them, but I totally understand why you would not point them out because it might be seen as an attack on another poster. I am in no way trying to suggest such a thing, either. Just wanted to let you know that I, like many others here, wouldn't stand for the behavior you described on this forum. Perhaps we just don't see what you are seeing because of the context or whatever, I just don't know. I'm also not saying you are wrong about what you are perceiving, you could be absolutely right and if so, kudos to you for seeing what others haven't.

[nat morriss]

Andrea37,

Thank you for your reply.

As you said, of course I can't identify those posts. I am working flat out next 3 days but will reply more fully later in the week.

nm