Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Bruisednotbeaten · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 59

Healthnut, just feel kinda worried about you. I've not seen you post for ages and I know you were having a tough time last time you wrote. Just wanted you to know that you are in my prayers and I wish you strength and peace. I'm still walking my path to freedom - it's been a bit bumpy lately but i'm still on it: almost 6 months NC. Almost free. Am leaving the darkness behind. Hugs: the boys send woofs.
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"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich". Louis Sabin

Healthnut0 · Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 3

Bruised - hello, I'm here!! Thank you for thinking of me & wishing me well. The power of this forum and the understanding & compassion from people like you...have literally saved me.

I still check in often but no longer post these days. Reading keeps me a believer - and I love seeing updates from familiar "old-timers" here. To be honest, I'm not used to the new board. I'm a creature of habit so change is never easy for me...i.e. letting go of the N! I still miss the old board. I still have too many moments of missing the N...

But I'm doing ok. Trying to take care of myself & find my happiness again. I didn't always believe the veterans here who repeatedly said it does get better - but I can say I'm forever altered by this gut-wrenching experience (I'm less innocent, trusting, light-hearted, open, youthful, happy, etc.)...but it DOES get better when we find a way to focus on US. Life is precious again, but there's a heavier, lonelier backdrop now, if that makes sense.

I'm so proud of you for 6 months NC!!! I think of you often Bruised and from the bottom of my heart - I wish you all the best life has to offer. Love to your dogs too!
Hugs hugs,
Health

Bruisednotbeaten · Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 59

Healthnut - so pleased to hear from you.
I hear what you say. The experience makes us different; but sometimes those extra defenses it gives us make us stronger and more willing to put ourselves first. The backdrop of lonliness is real for me to sometimes, you phrase it very well. But however tough it is I do not want to go back to the dark place i was in. You too I hope. Healing takes time, maybe a lifetime. But we will meet good new people along the way. It is up to us how much of ourselves we give again. At the moment it's a big fat zero for me - but you never know. Johnny Depp calls me and i'm there! You take care of yourself. Anytime you need an ear just let me know.
_________________
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich". Louis Sabin