Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

wakingup · Joined: 30 Mar 2008 Posts: 58

ive been wanting to post for some time now but its like evrytime i come in i just lose any energy thats in me to write anything..i dont know why thats happening i think its cz i already know wat u all will tell me and how in the end its really up to me to move on and just make that decision..

I left my fiance 6 months ago, actually if u come to think of it he really gave me no other choice and even though ive been doing well for most of it yet this past month has been downhill for me. i dont know y.. i thought that as time goes by i only become stronger and that i cant go back down after having been going up for the past couple of months..

if any of u recall my story ..my ex n had this problem in his prostate and i cant even begin to tell u how supportive i was..
his parents are reallly ignorant and unsupportive. my dad is a doctor so i made him call his friends to get us an appointment with the best doctor.
so i took him to that doctor i drove all the way even though he was ok to drive i waited for him while he went in to see the doctor.
i went with him to get some tests done ( several times) i even went with him to recieve the lab results so he wouldnt b alone.
i also took him to another doctor for a second opinion stayed with him all the time,,when he was tired id stay with him at his house just watching tv with him bringing him anything he wanted just being with him to mkae him feel better.
anyways even after we broke up..he called me and was telling me how scared he was to go get the tests done again so ofcourse being the idiot that i am i went with him and even went with him to the doctor so he wouldnt b alone .

anyways 2 weeks ago he send me a text msg telling me how he was driving in a tunnel and how a car had exploded or caught fire and how he barely escaped! ( drama) so i text back and tell him well im glad ur fine etc
then a week later after seeing wat a cold reactiion he got he texts again telling me the following
" i dont know y im texting you but i could really use a friend that cared.i am really f****d from the pain in my prostate, i have been living in this far too longand i just dont know wat to do no more and im tired of fighting it, i sometimes just cry by myself cz i just cant take it "

So i replied like 8 hours later telling him how i though t he had previously told me that he was cured and that im sorry to hear that and im praying for him and if he needs any doctor referral he should tell me
so he replies telling me that he lied cz he didnt want me to b worried

then he send another msg with the following
" i seriously do not believe it, i text u asking for ur support and u reply 8 hrs later with this! nothing more i need to say. iwish u all the best,ur gonna regret this one day. thanks"

so anyways i didnt reply to that one..

the thing is i started feeling guilty and bad for being that way so i called his friend and told him wat happened ( this friend of his supported me all the waythrough and knew details others didnt know.so he saw first hand how bad he was to me while breaking up) so this guy is all surprised and told me well u didn the right thing and yes its true my ex n has been really down and that this guy even told him that he wthinks its a good idea for him to go talk to a psychiatrist vecause he thinks that he's not exactly heallthy in this aspect... so this guy friend tells me that ex n will go to another doctor and run some more tests and he will call me to tell lme wat happened the next day.. ofcourse he doesnt soi wait a few days and call him back and he tells me umm actually havent spoken to him yet but i'll call u as soon as he calls and of course he doesnt calll!

then my ex n joins facebook again after having cancelled his account twice.. so he comes back and deletes me from his friends list and ofcourse keeps all my friends as his friends.. so then i asked one of my friends and went in to see his profile from her account and it seems like his life is going on pretty fine! there'sa pic of him with his ex ( pic was like 5 days old) and he got to know this italian girl and so its obvious he's not sick or crying at home! plus this guy friend i had called to see how ex n is obviously in contact with ex n so i just cant believe he didnt call me yet !

anyways i feel like crap and have been feeling like this for a week now and i hate this really i just cant explain how bad i feel especially that i had been doing soo well so im really upset from myself too..plz help me out as i feel that i am really starting to regret how cold i was iwas with him in that txt msg like he said i would Sad

Lukky · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 2429

((((((Wakingup))))))

Hon he is trying to Hoover you back into his game ok?? These are the tactics they use to try and get us back in the 'Danse' with them......

Even if he has got the prostate problems back they are no longer your concern ok.. He abused you and treated you badly and you deserve so much better than that!!

Please don't feel guilty for looking after you?? That is the only way to heal from this experience. Can I suggest blocking him from your phone and stopping all contact with him through his friends as well. Seriously you do not need to be knowing this stuff ok because by nature we are compassionate people and they play on that..

Hugs and take care

Lukky
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'The Best reaction is no reaction'

knoxy · Joined: 24 Jul 2007 Posts: 1047

Sweetie, you already have the answers. You are all up into this guy again.

I know how hard it is, but you have GOT to cut him off. You have no business checking him out on Facebook - let alone answering his texts. You know the drill, sweetie.

So can you get back on the NC horse to get the healing started again?

We are here for you.

NarcNobbler · Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 341

Hi wakingup,

Its all manipulation, he knows how you would react to a "Guilt trip" he's still playing games. I know its hard but his buddy's probably in on this also.

Sit tight, you haven't heard the last of him yet.

A few weeks after my D&D in which my XN had been particularly nasty to me, she contacted me and told me ,she had been struck down by a disabilitating disease and was in hospital in a strange city with no friends and needed a friendly voice to talk too. So I broke NC and rang that night to see if she was ok , she told me a doctor was examining her and couldn't talk, she'd call me back.

She called 2 hours later, I later found out she had "ONE" of her new boyfriends visiting so couldn't talk and her other new boyfriend was on vacation,thats why she took the funny turn in the first place.

If their low on NS or just bored they will do and say anything to suck you back in. Including terminal diseases, suicide threats, family deaths, you name it they'll lie through their teeth. Don't feel guilty and if you do, think of the nasty things he did/said to you, thats not a friend.

Narc.
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"You become what you Hate"

God loves a trier, but I can take a hint!

johndeago · Joined: 20 Jan 2008 Posts: 22

My xN uses my daughter to suck me back in ...I have no choice but to stay in contact but am becoming more aware of the little tricks like, I forgot to get milk and daughter needs it for morning, can you bring some?

I found this link somewhat relevant.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2006/12/this_is_not_a_narcissistic_inj.html

John

wakingup · Joined: 30 Mar 2008 Posts: 58

thank u guys for ur replies and matilda you questions really made me think! i dont wanna be abused i dotn like to be treated lie a doormat ur absoloutly right..
i never thought that im cyber stalking him by checking his facebook profile i actually had done that right now before logging in here and reading this..and ive decided that i will not check it again!
thanks for that check ...u made me realise how bad that was..
Embarassed