Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

nelly-lise · Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 5

Has anyone else on here been reading anything on this website? http://www.signs-of-the-times.org/signs/forum/viewtopic.php?id=2730&p=1

If so, what are your thoughts? I've just found it and started to read and although it's making my blood run cold, it's answering so many of the dilemmas that have been running through my mind for so long.

OxDrover · Joined: 13 May 2007 Posts: 1465 Location: Arkansas USA

Thanks for this link, it is awesome. Many of Dr. Robert Hare's ideas are here from Without Conscience. I almost memorized that book--it was the story of my life with my father and with my son. I started out "highlighting" sentences, then paragraphs, then whole pages, then the entire book was "yellow" inside! Laughing

That book gave me "vision" when I was BLIND, unfortunately, it took me a while to use that vision appropriately and to internalize it. It was almost like someone taught me to "say the numbers," but it took me a long time to realize how to actually use them to "Count" things. Embarassed

This forum here has helped me "get back to basics" and get my own act together to take care of myself--instead of continuuing to be sucked into the fray AGAIN. It has helped me to look at the REAL source of my "pain."

The real source of my pain is that all this time (years) I have been sitting on a tack, and crying because my butt hurts, but until I quit whinning and GET UP OFF MY BUTT AND PULL THE TACK OUT and then LET MYSELF HEAL, nothing that anyone does for me, or says to me is going to stop the pain.

BACK TO BASICS FOR ME IS:

I am now ready to take responsibility for my own health, my own life, and let the world and all the people in it take charge of themselves. It is not my responsibility to protect another adult from their own folly, or to "run the world"--I can only take care of myself. I CAN and will, offer support to people who are trying to help themselves, but I will not assume responsibility for the consequences of their decisions or actions.

I may ask trusted individuals for advice, validation of my ideas, or for their ideas, but whether or not I take it is my responsibility: if it turns out well, or if it turns out poorly, they are not responsible for the outcome.

I will NOT ask someone else to rescue me. If I ask for help and someone says "No," I will respect that response, and not hold a grudge against them for refusing my request.

I do not have to feel obligated to take anyone else's advice. If my not taking someone's advice, or doing what THEY think is the right thing for me to do, that is not MY problem. I am responsible for the consequences to me, so my actions are my responsibility.

I will not assume responsibility for "rescuing" any adult who is not unconscious, and at the same time, is not in danger of immediate death if not rescued.

I will say "no" to requests for help or assistance from anyone if I am uncomfortable in doing it, or if in any way I resent doing it.

I will behave in appropriate ways, even if I am disrespected by others. I will keep myself safe. I will not knowingly provoke anyone else to anger. I will set appropriate boundaries and defend those boundaries appropriately.

So Help me God, AMEN!
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Life is lived forward, but understood backwards.