Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

louxloux · Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 1519

Just recieved this in email from the Neale Donald Walsch newsletter... really GREAT re-framing:

I know that it is possible for life to look, sometimes, as

if it's going downhill, as if everything is falling apart. But

consider this: When life is 'falling apart' things could

actually be falling together...maybe for the first time.

author's website: http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com/

lots of love,

loux
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Beautiful light is born of darkness, so the faith that springs from conflict is the strongest and the best. Light is the symbol of truth. Give light, & the darkness will disappear of itself.

~ This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

femfree · Site Admin Joined: 11 Feb 2007 Posts: 667

Great quote and so very true!!
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Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer;
nothing is more difficult than to understand him.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

thegabrielle77 · Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 409

Loux,

Great quote!!!!!!!!!

Love DA positive thinking...keep it coming

Hugs
Gabs
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purplegirl · Joined: 08 Apr 2007 Posts: 344

OH I like that quote!!!!
PurpleGirl
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WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE
BELIEVE THEM!!!!!!

louxloux · Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 1519

thanks you guys.

I totally believe this quote. In every obstacle and struggle there is an opportunity. The initial shock/anxiety and then the struggle with transition cloud that at first and you can't really see it... but it's there - it's always there, and we can look for it... if we choose to work toward the positive vs. the negative.

Change - even good change - is scary; it's unknown. I think sometimes we all fight against change, clinging to what is familiar simply out of fear and 'what ifs'. The negative 'what ifs' - like "what if I fail"; or "what if I am wrong?"; or even "what if they are right (about me, my decision, etc...)". Many of us have been conditioned to think from that negative frame of mind - having been told that the world is just toooooo scary; that you must rely on someone else's 'good' judgment to make decisions for you (N Mom/Dad or someone else significant in your life who, at essence, just wants control over you b/c of their OWN fear - of abandonment or whatever). It takes time and distance to realize that those fears are not your own, but rather have been 'drilled into' you by a disordered, fearful and irrational mind and heart. Although, even those who haven't been manipulated or abused by a disordered person can have fear of change too (a certain amount of fear is actually healthy - think of why you have instincts in the first place).... but have you ever noticed, that those who *seem* 'fearless' and often try new things are those that seem the happiest in life?? Impulsive adrenaline junkies excluded - there are extremes in just about anything/everything. On the opposite end of the spectrum are those who CONSTANTLY are in a state of flux and never satisfied. I'm more referring to a healthy balance of fear AND risk-taking. Fear and anxiety, in moderation, do serve a healthy purpose. For me in particular, and probably for many others here as well - my fear and anxiety have been conditioned to the extreme end; while at the same time I've been conditioned to recognize 'abnormal' and dysfunctional behavior as normal/familiar. That could not be made more clear than by the fact that I was 'drawn in' and attracted to a abnormal, dysfunctional, TOXIC N. The attraction and feeling of 'connectedness' to someone disordered was OVERWHELMING b/c it was FAMILIAR. The fear and anxiety over the initial D&D and rejection was overwhelming also b/c it was familiar.

I don't want extremes anymore; I want Balance!

The unknown. 'What if'... it is GOOD for us? 'What if' ... there is something WONDERFUL on the other side of that door and all we have to do is OPEN IT???

I have absolutely no idea what the future holds for me. One of my greatest fears, though, has been the idea of ending up alone - but you know what? I am alone right now, and that is 'ok'! It's actually even better than just 'ok' right now... it is DESIRED. The part of this fear that I am working on is = even if I grow old alone, to still feel 'ok' with that. I don't 'desire' that... but if I don't find someone HEALTHY to share life with in my future, I want to be 'ok' either way. (hope that makes sense). Not giving up on love; just want to feel 'ok' either way - that my happiness and fulfillment do not henge or depend on finding a man/soulmate. After all, contentedness, happiness, and confidence in your life are most attractive - and like attracts like. I want to attract someone emotionally/mentally healthy, positive, confident, strong... if I am THAT person to begin with; I will attract those people. (i am finally 'getting it'). If I cannot 'find' someone emotionally/mentally healthy; then I actually WOULD rather be alone!

Thanks to all of you for your support. I'm trying to shift my negative, fear-based mindset to one of possibility and opportunity (which also involves attempting to change my negative self-talk). It's not an easy task, but considering all other options (living with intermittent or constant anxiety/ withdrawing and afraid to LIVE, etc...), definitely one worth trying!

Love all of you,

loux
_________________
Beautiful light is born of darkness, so the faith that springs from conflict is the strongest and the best. Light is the symbol of truth. Give light, & the darkness will disappear of itself.

~ This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...