Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

SpiritShell · Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 377 Location: Canada

I'm 110% with Serenity on this one:

7 ) You don't need to explain yourself.
8 ) Anything you said will only be used as ammo.

Darnit my son pressed some key that made everything I typed go away! Lol.. lets try again..

Your time and energy and heart in writing it really would be wasted. I had come to that conclusion a while ago even before NC (so much stress, no result).. and my SIL tried just after we moved here to have a level conversation with her over the phone. Well.. the result absolutely blew her away. Words twisted. Blame deflected. It was disgusting. It would be that or the paper shredder, I guess. Sad, but I think its the best advice to to say "NC" not "NC because.."

I'm really glad I found this place too Smile

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"Why are narcissists not prone to suicide? Simple: they died a long time ago."

wlw35 · Joined: 09 Mar 2007 Posts: 374

You guys are right and I knew it in my heart, just wanted to know if I was on the right page. Sometimes I go into denial, maybe I'm wrong about the NPDI'm 100% sure about NF), however, the more I read, she fits right into the mold, not even a little, everything! Yes, I'm still mourning, I so want to have a real mom, sometimes you just want your mom, a nuturing one, one who knows you, but doesn't hold it against you. The most frustrating thing about this diagnosis, is knowing about it and not being about to fix it, NC is really the only way for me, right now, I get too clouded when I have contact, get sucked in, I re-read my N books and things look different, clearer and I feel stronger, doesn't mean I will break NC-- just interesting. BTW, I'm going to a new therapist, I asked her if she knew about Ns, then I said, I had postpartum depression, her response, you don't have support then, yep, she's got it alright. I see her next week. Thank you guys for being there.

seekingserenity · Joined: 14 Mar 2007 Posts: 179

WLW,

Sounds like you've got a therapist who might understand about NPD -- that's good!

I understand what you mean about not knowing 100 % if they have NPD, if I'm making a mistake with NC, etc. I have those self-doubts, too. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me -- that I can't just "blow off" the insane things she says and not let it bother me.

All I know is that my days are SO much better, so much happier, when she is not in my world. I tolerated so much abuse for so many years. I want a real mom, too. It is very sad. I know it's not going to happen. But was is going to happen -- I will not have to put up with her abuse any more.

Take care WLW, and hope you're having a good day.

serenity