PARENTIFIED is when a parent places a child in a parental role. A boy might be treated like, or referred to as "the man of the house",
A good friend of mine spent most of her childhood & all of her teenage years "keeping" the house (laundry, dishes, even wrote the check for the bills for her mother to sign, etc.) & cared for her alcoholic Mom. She is in her 30's & still struggles with control, anger & other issues that have stemmed from it.
When I was going through some dark times, my D would come to comfort me. One time (& the last time!) I ask her if she would take care of me. She was 5. She looked frightened, I instantly knew why so I followed with "like I do when you're sick? Can you get me a drink & a blanket?" She was relieved & said, "Sure, Mommy".
She knows that it is the parent's job to take care of the child & the thought of actually having to care for me, terrified her & really opened my eyes!!
I got help & therapy. I will NEVER do THAT again!!
BUT PLEASE!!!! Say as much as you want. Just knowing that there are others out there who really do understand what you're going through & are up against. Getting it out is good for you & gives others a chance to possibly help you.
Did N get custody because you moved? Was there a formal order prior to the move? Did N give you ANY financial support prior to getting temporary custody?
This is what I think, that's all...
I think you've got a good case. I'm iffy about the recording - I think it will be thrown out & it could (not that you would) be easily fabricated. Most likely it will not be admissible.
This is temporary custody - probably due to jurisdiction because you moved.
1. Document EVERYTHING! Every phone call, everything your son or the N says to you.
2. *****Get copies of all of his school records!!!! Past & present. This could be the clencher. If these show that he was doing well with you & is NOT with his Dad....That is a BIGGY!! Was your son in the christian school before or after the move? Reports from his teachers & friends there will help! Even more if you can get a few to the trial.
3. Your son is 10. Although I think he is too young to be active in the decision of where he wants to be, I do believe that the judge will hear him. My D is 6. She tells everyone (but her Dad of course) that she wants to be with Mommy, but she's too young. The court will not hear her.:(
4. Document EVERYTHING!!!! Yes, everything!!
How much longer until the trial? Do everything that you are supposed to do until then. I know it is hard, but be as perfect as you can be. N can not interfere with your relationship with your son! N has to follow the rules too.
This is what I am finding. My N takes this all the way to court because I won't comply with his demands, he get primary physical for school purposes, all else remains joint & 50/50. I lose time with my D, but N lost his ability to call ALL the shots. He is having a very difficult time with this & is digging a hole for himself by trying to continue to do so. I just write it all down, refuse to engage with him & let him show his true colors.
outsidethebox, Why did you move? Did you HAVE to? If you have a good reason, this could be ok. Perhaps you could offer to pay you son's travel expenses to visit his dad every other Christmas & for a couple weeks in the summer?
If you didn't HAVE to move, would you consider moving back? Just a thought.
:? I hope I didn't upset or offend you with any of my opinions. I'm going on the info that you provided. So please DO say more!!! Maybe someone has that advice that will help it to make sense.
I wish you all the best in the world!! Truly believe in that you are doing the right thing, follow that path with positive intentions & will & any obstacle that you find in your way is meant to be torn down!