Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

Ok, so I run this board. I am pro-active in the fight of domestic abuse and victims of Narcissists and Psychopaths. I am pro-woman, us woman can do anything we want! I will fight for any cause I believe in. I won't back down. I am a strong woman who will stand and fight for what I believe in. I am the best mom in the world. When I sit my heart on something I grab it and work it.

But there is one thing that reduces me to 0 function in 2 seconds flat.

Someone FLIRTING with me!!!

I hate it! I wanna knock them upside the damn head and tell them to roll their friggin eyeballs somewhere else while at the same time flattered! I want to run, hide, bop em, and stomp my foot like a child and say stop it!

I was out today with Mother to see my Granny and we went to eat and then her thrift shop because she is the thriftshop queen, and while we were in there I was eyeballed and smiled at by two different guys. The first one, some dude was looking at luggage where the blankets are and I wanted to look at the blankets. And he wouldn't move so I could get to the damn blankets! He just stood there like an idiot smiling LOL I swear! GOD! And then the other guy stared me down smiling! I was like OMG I went to mother and told her I was going to the car!

I like it, to a degree but yet at the same time, I can't get used to it and the need to get away from the idiots overtakes me quicker than I can enjoy the flirting!

Does anyone else have any problem like this? Not the- I'm never gonna date, trust ever again. I know we all go through that and feel it. But I am talking just plain old flirting looksie crap! LOL

Ohhh YEAH !!
Hate the flirty crap !

When I was little NM would always hit the side of my head and say 'Stop looking at the man, you've got bedroom eyes!', that plus Creepy PF..think has a lot to do with it.

I find the flirting from strangers degrading. Don't like it. One. Little. Bit.

In my 20's, I got my Grandma's diamond ring and would wear it on my wedding finger everywhere I went. And every time a man looked at me, I would flash that sucker in his face.
Mostly it didn't even stop them!
I find that GROSS. It's like the BIGGEST insult possible. They are assuming that I am engaged to be married AND I will engage in flirting as well? They are thinking I'm a slut?? INSULTED!!

I really hoped as I got older, the flirting would stop. But nope.
When hubby and I got engaged, I got the biggest whopper of a diamond I could fit on my hand without it dragging the whole left side of my body down. It's kinda grossly big bling on my tiny hand, but figured it would show any potential sleaze ball flirters that..... NO WAY !!! Off the market in a BIG WAY.
Like: "Look you idiot, you can't compete with the guy who gave me THIS..."and I stick that massive bling fu***r right in their face.
Works better than Grandma's little ring, but still....

Yeah, like you Windy. Don't like the flirting, especially now, because the flirter is assuming I am a married slut.
Hate that!!

And when I was single. Still, didn't like overt flirting.
Hubby played it pretty cool at the start. I felt comfortable. If he had stared at me, or flirted overtly, I would have felt invaded. Totally.

BLOODY HELL!!! I can't even take taxi's anymore (partly because of a stalking taxi man years ago), but also, I'm early-mid 40's and STILL sleazy taxi drivers try and come onto me!!
BRING ON OLD AGE!!

(I intentionally wear baggy clothes too. To STOP it.)

Yeah, Windy, flirting makes me uncomfortable. More than a few guys got pounded on my me in my 20's for not stopping the flirting when I asked them to.
I was vicious!!
Especially with the married fools who flirted with me. BIG INSULT DUDE. WHACK IN THE NUTS and down they go! Married flirts are the worst!!
What the hell do they think I am?

I guess flirting is supposed to be fun and positive. Just PTSD's me.

Yep. I agree. I went to a support meeting today and one yesterday, and one man in particular has singled me out and it creeps the hell out of me. He sits facing me, staring at me, this is just after meeting him twice. He touched me, tried to hug me. Yuck. I hate it when people try to touch me without permission and yeah, it is a support group, but still....

I'm not overly touchy-feely, and when people get in my space, especially when I just met them, it creeps me out. This is off track....But my ex mother in law would do that...Force people to hug her and get in their space and I think she did it to dominate.

I am torn between never wanting to date again but wanting a life partner.

My exBF was so nice and gentlemanly in the beginning, so now I think my judgement is screwed up so badly. I met him online and we corresponded for 3 months before I would meet him. During that whole time he never said anything off color, never flirted really, was always a gentleman and that is one of the reasons I went out with him....And look where it got me!

Thank goodness it's not just me who feels the BS to this crap!

I will tell you a story.

One day my son and I were grocery shopping with my son when I passed this guy, and hey, he won't bad looking. (lol) I smiled and he had his daughter in the basket and I said hi to her and went about my merry way. Well, every isle after that, he migrated to. And he started on this total crap "I'm such a good dad" thing, talking to the little girl like she was 2 and she was at least 7 to 9. Patty cakes and that crap and eyeballing me the whole time as if to say ***LOOK WHAT A GOOD DAD I AM!" PUHHHLEEEASEE!!!!! He probably didn't even have custody of the kid and if he did, he probably had a girlfriend! And I had to run through isles to get away from him. GAWD he did not want to get the hint! Finally I saw him in the checkout unhappy I would say and that poor little girl was not being played with anymore. Idiot. Sad thing is some other woman will come along and fall for it!

And then there was pharmacy guy. I made a promise to myself that I would never ever move fast again like I did with XNP. I was feelin' it ladies. He was flirting all the time and THEN to my surprise by accident we stumbled on to the fact that we are both big Springsteen fans. Man? Cute? Nice? Flirty, I enjoyed it! We would tease and laugh and he'd catch me in the aisles and we'd have serious conversations. He ASKED me if I was married and then got more serious in his efforts. I would get all flushed going to the pharmacy! For the first time post- P I was starting to think- well maybe there is a small chance that love can happen again! This went on for two years... He hinted at a date- hinted at us going to a Springsteen concert together.... My heart was a'flutter LOL Then we started trading music stuff. He gave me a huge assed Springsteen advertisement with a program from the eighties and a bunch of doubles of springsteen covers of the rolling stone magazine. I gave him several autographed copies of CD's that belonged to XNP LOL but I told him who they had belonged to. But he liked to buy and trade on Ebay and all that stuff.

I went in one day to give him some copies of CD's I had burned for him and guess what? @#$%@$^@% had a @$%@@ wedding ring on! It was brand new !#$%@$ thing was shiny on his left ring finger. Now you know us girls who are single and we just automatically look at the ring finger. I been feelin this guy for two years and there was NO #$#$@%$@^% wedding ring! And then he's all somber and formal and starts talking about how he'll have to play them in his car because at home HIS DAUGHTER will only listen to some country star. You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Man I was pissed! Made me wonder how many other girls he flirted with, and felt more sorry for his WIFE!

And I still go to that pharmacy and I hadn't seen him in ages (well I started to avoid going a lot would get mother to go for me) and I asked one of the regular girls there if he had quit and they said YES! He had went on to another pharmacy and his wife just had a baby boy! I couldn't believe it! Took him long enough to marry her and she was knocked up and he was flirting with me while the whole time!!!!!

Some people are just dogs!! And some women as bad as men! LOL!

Okay, you just made my skin officially CRAWL. EEEWWWWW

I grew up with a slut NM who would flirt and sleep with whoever (especially married men). Now Nsis follows in her footsteps...it's just....gross!!

How about when women flirt with ya?
I REALLY hate that ! I'm thinking they want more from me than sex....they wanna eat me alive!

Yet so many people enjoy the flirt.
A chick at hubbies work got all flirty with him at a work dinner a couple of years ago. He literally pushed her away. She almost fell over ! Dropped her drink at least....LOL LOL !

I got asked out by a woman once. LOL Now I am no homophobe. Never have been. But I obsessed over it for months. What made her think I was possilbly gay? Was she shooting to see if I was or did I just look like that to her?

I cannot stand and tolerate people in my life who sleep with married men or women and act in such a way. I know my mom slept with another man (one that I know of) at least for awhile I think he might have been a boyfriend. Not sure, but what little respect that I had died. That's just a honorable woman's code, you don't mess with another woman's man.

Three weeks after I left first husband I came to my trailer I shared with first hubby and found another woman in my marital bed. Only thing that told me was that she was there before I left three weeks earlier. He's been married to her like ten years now and has told me on numerous occasions that he would leave her in a second if I would take him back.

Human behavior just never ceases to amaze me! I can't get it and really don't want to. I just watch others and wonder WTF are they thinking!?!

Good on your hubby though. I hope that she at least got the message when he pushed her away! Some are so stupid they don't! No there! LOL!

Windsong wrote:
I cannot stand and tolerate people in my life who sleep with married men or women and act in such a way. I know my mom slept with another man (one that I know of) at least for awhile I think he might have been a boyfriend. Not sure, but what little respect that I had died. That's just a honorable woman's code, you don't mess with another woman's man.

Hallelujah to that !!
I can tell you that my NM and Nsis always used to (probably still do) about what "poor me, little 'ol victims' they are of the big bad married man!
And at the same time, claim the wives were evil and that they are the world's biggest feminist.
Yeah.... sure.....
The wives are evil...how?

I had one friend who was flirty with a guy who had a girlfriend. Not even married, just a girlfriend. I told my friend, if she continued any further with that man, I would lose all respect for her and I could never be friends with someone I have no respect for.
She ditched the guy.
I've been friends with her for over 20 years, but was prepared to ditch it because of her casual attitude to the girl friend.

And what's with calling adultery "a fling"...degrades it to almost nothing. Makes it seem like it doesn't matter.
It DOES matter. It destroys families and costs countries many billions of dollars in screwed up kids etc.
Bad bad bad. No good can come from it.

Am amazed how so many women now hold their head up high and pronounce themselves adulteresses. WTF???
Just. Don't. Get. It.
How come these chicks don't see how insulted they've been? Any hit on by a married man is him basically him calling her a slut. A bitch who would hurt an innocent wife back home (not to mention kids).
It's such an insult, yet they take it as a compliment. "ooooh, yay, a married man thinks I'm cute"...dumb Ho ! He's insulting you !!! (sorry, that was extreme of me, and how I really feel having grown up with "those" women in my FOO.

One of my pet peeves !!!
Honor among sisters I say ! Hands off another woman's man girls! No matter what bullshit he feeds you. Hands the hell OFF.
Certainly puts them in the N camp. Squarely. No feelings for the poor wife/girlfriend at home. Hello Red Flag.

I, too, dislike the flirting thing. Always have. I get it everywhere and all it does is irritate me. My friends all think it's funny because it is all the time, everywhere we go. I had one guy follow beside me on the highway for about 5 miles, finally writing his number & please call me! on a sheet of paper and putting it in the rear window of his truck when he finally passed & pulled in front of me. Yeah, baby...that is definitely the kind of guy I want! Not!!!

Married men flirting and ANY men flirting with ME make me want to vomit. I almost get scared when it happens, I just want to run away. On my way to work every morning I stop at McDonald's to pick up a large unsweetened iced tea. It's my little treat to myself and I really look forward to it. Well, there is this guy at the drive thru that for awhile I had the feeling was flirting with me but I wasn't sure. Well, yesterday he said something overtly inappropriate being that I'm a married Woman and use my LEFT hand to take my change from him. My ring may not be big, but it's there. He said, "You know you are a very beautiful woman, you always look nice. I love seeing you every day." Made my skin crawl. I froze, didn't know what to say. So, now I can no longer get my iced tea.

It's sickening, what are these men thinking?????? I'm very happily married and respect and love my Husband more than I can say. I have a chronic illness and he takes such good care of me and our daughter. I feel like this guy hitting on me is directly disrespecting my Husband and it makes me ill. I wanted to smack this guy in the biggest way. And in another strange way, I feel violated by it.