Psychopath and Narcissist Survivors Support Group

I started stringing a few words together and I seemed to have gotten a little carried away, excuse the length, it just all started coming out. But wanted to share - can't actually share it anywhere else.


I had the opportunity to wake up long ago so it seems
But instead preferred a blinding stance, to go and live my dream
I recall when we were courting a very cruel thing on me you tried
In fact I recall it being so painful, - it was the last time I ever cried.

Your lack of intimacy I blamed on perhaps I had a higher libido then yours
Assumed I was needy for affection and it excused your not understanding my need for more
For your special occasions I couldn’t wait to make for you such a fuss
When you reciprocated with so little, I assumed myself to be selfish – I must.

I even excused your yelling and rage as the response of someone with a fragile ego
Perhaps still morning the loss of your mum, (as you would say) - but she died 20 years ago
I apologized for not believing you, you must be right, I must be going mad.
You wouldn’t lie to me, just accusing you made me believe I was bad.

I could never find any of my things – doesn’t matter how far or near
I must be very clumsy and forgetful, I am sure I put my shoes right here.
Of course you have hay fever and can’t help in the garden, for those things have no fear
In fact anything you don’t like doing, I will take care of it dear.

How you convince everyone you spend hours with your kids doesn’t surprise me
You never really did, but you had me convinced and the reality I also failed to see.
Your business adventures have been failures, as has every one of your employs
Though you sailed right past as though you did great things, and you were pride and joy.

I didn’t understand why my friends started to avoid me so much; I now rarely saw many of them
But then I didn’t know you had been doing your finest work, and played such a great victim.
Lost contact with my most dearest and gladly spent my time with you, and all you had me do
“Yes dear”, “No dear”, was delussionally living my dream, with the person who was making it all come true.

I must be a miserable person as you say, in most of the photos; I look quite angry and sad
If you hadn’t mentioned out how ugly I looked just before, perhaps I would have smiled a tad.
Oh yes you look wonderful, as always the shinning star
You stand out so much, the rest of us just seem so afar.

Actually it is impolite for me to tell you your ass is big, so go on believing what you will
I would also like to know what time after each morning rage do you take that happy pill
So we have to re do the kitchen, the lounge and the bath, - why they all fine.
Oh I didn’t realize our friends (your friends) were renovating nearby.

I lay in bed and your rattling pots and pans in the kitchen, I have often pleaded for you to stop
But there you go again against all our wishes, and continue in the morning – its bloody 3 O’clock
I walked on eggshells around you, I never know what mood your in – or even what to say,
It’s been many years since you woke to smile and say good day.

Well that is in many ways all in the past. I lifetime of hurt has finally been to me presented
I lifetime of self-doubt and turmoil, is finally being arrested.
There is nothing actually wrong with me, the problem was always you
I suffered all these years, and kept juggling all the balls, cause of all people, I chose to love you.

The fact remains that you identified me well, knowing my abilities better then I
Abilities I have, and you never will, no matter how much you try
My persona with so many virtues, is what’s missing in your life
Which is why it worked so well for you, when you persisted I make you my wife

Well I don’t love you anymore; you aren’t worthy of such a lover
You deserve to be with someone like you, a terrorist with some disorder or another
I didn’t realize that people like you existed outside fairy tales
Can now see where writers get their inspiration to write about such wicked females

You are a parasite on the kindness and goodness that exists in this world
The humanity, humility and love that many hold true – are only playthings for the likes of you.
You deserve no compassion, no love, no affection, your existence has no meaning to enhance
You are not special – you are what society would flush tomorrow, - if it had the chance.

Your father is the biggest a..hole I have ever met
The most selfish, abusive, drunken, gambling, bastard I have come across yet
For a man who did nothing of substance, but to take from anyone his whole life
He can always claim to have infested the world with two cerebrals and one somatic to cause strife

Your uncles are just as badly wired, one being a sadistic NPD
Who most can’t even understand when he speaks, which he does to hide his true ID
You grandmother is the same, whose clothes are as unwashed as her toxic mouth
Her lack of interest in any of you was clear whenever she travelled south

For many years I pitied the sadness and turmoil in your life
Not realizing most you all created only to set me in the midst of such strife
You always walked away clean, and I ended up holding the can
You were all saints and I was condemned for doing what I believed it was to be a good man.

Sadly your true colors have over time shone through,
My rose coloured glasses these days have a very different view
You wasted my life being caretaker and villain for all you put my way
But somewhere I found to believe in myself – so f..k you all, this day.

So from here on end I will teach myself to be true to me
To teach my children the values in life and not let them be misled
I have leant lessons from this to not only protect myself when you all shout
But to identify you sick bastards and whenever I can - point you out.

No more “Mr. nice guy” to parasites like yourself
No more “Can I help you”, to those that are beyond help
Time to take stock of the reality which does exist
Time to heal myself of this regret, and pain that within me still persists

It's not my turn to shine – I have been shining all this time
So much so, there was enough there to even make you shine
So as this bright star leaves away from you, look closely at the dark
For there you will find your true self, - a nothing, not even a spark.

A heart has room for love and hate, but one fills the space of the other
It explains why you are unable to show any genuine compassion and empathy for any other
So off you go on your way, hating all as you so well do
I may occasionally think of you – when I am taking a No. 2.

Your empty heart and over indulgent head has hurt many in the past
The past is where I will leave you, to wander on your own
I don’t care where you get your next NS fix, that is no longer my concern
One is born each day they say, I am sure one will come along for you soon.

I think that was wonderful!